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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/EmbarassedChristian on 2023-06-24 15:19:48+00:00.

Some context: since January, my wife (25f) has played almost nothing but Taylor Swift, daily, on repeat. Averaging about an hour her music a day.

She’s a huge fan; shed many tears when we decided she couldn’t pay $1000 to see the concert.

I am not a swiftie. Not really even a fan at all. I think Taylor needs new subject material. Good songwriter but repetitive and boring to me.

Whether we’re in the car, having a game night with neighbors, sitting by the pool, playing cards, or cooking, my wife is playing and singing Swift over a Bluetooth speaker.

It started off cute. Then got annoying. Then made me feel like I’m hanging out with a 14 year old from 2011. I am permanently banned from saying anything negative about Swift. Saying I don’t like her is “taking away from her achievement as the first female artist to have such a successful tour”

We are currently in a hotel with 4 family members, about to go on vacation. 9:00am and my wife starts playing to brush her teeth. Nobody else was particularly bothered because they don’t have any context, but I think they were clearly wondering why she was playing it so loud.

I asked if we could “take a vacation from Swift this week as well.” My wife threw a bit of a fit saying I embarrassed her or implied that she is immature. Her parents are telling me I’m being rude. Asked my wife to step outside to chat, told her I wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings. It didn’t go well and now I’ve “ruined the vacation.”

I understand making her feel awkward, and her family not being bothered, but am I an asshole for being tired of her singing the 10 minute version of All Too Well?

  • @cam_i_amEnglish
    3•1 year ago

    I mean on the surface, no you’re NTA for being sick of a particular artist and wanting your wife to mix it up a bit.

    Buuuut the way you describe the situation has me wondering if there’s more to it. When you start describing your wife as a child, I can’t help but think that you’ve been less than diplomatic in talking about this with her.

    If there’s one way to get someone off side, it’s to be mean about something they love. Taylor Swift’s music is clearly really important to your wife, and you need to respect that. But equally she needs to respect your desire not to listen to it all day every day.

    I’m a massive metalhead. My wife is definitely not. I put headphones on if I want to blast some metal, and in the car we listen to other genres that we both enjoy. But also my wife has never been disdainful or contemptful about my music, or said I’m like an angsty 14 year old from 2003 when I put some shitty nu metal on.

    • @ttmrichterEnglish
      2•1 year ago

      Buuuut the way you describe the situation has me wondering if there’s more to it.

      This. This right here.

      We’re only hearing one side of the story and it’s natural that people put themselves in the best light and the other party in the worst. (There’s even a term for this when applied overall: Fundamental Attribution Error.)

      This could be NTA, YTA, or BTA and it’s hard to tell which.