My kid [3yrs] speaks the local language with his other parent (separated. 50/50). and English with me (my native language). I speak both and my kid knows this, so I can’t hide it.
He speaks the local language well, but English is a struggle. Comprehension is 100%, but he only speaks random words. He mostly speaks to me in the local language. Where we live, he will learn English in school, so I’m not worried about that.
I’ve tried various things to get him speaking English, but it’s a struggle.
Are there any strategies that might work?
I heard a dad who would repeat every single thing the child said in the “wrong language”. That is translate it and say it back to them before answering. It makes them learn but nearly more importantly it bores them out so much to just hear what they say repeated in another language they get motivated to speak the “correct” one to you. It works kinda like this:
Kid: I want to go on the trampoline with my friends tomorrow (in the “wrong” language)
Patent: Ah you want to go on the trampoline with your friends tomorrow? Well of course you can, just be careful (in the “right” language)
Yeah. I did this unconsciously just to verify I understood since he’s a toddler. It did seem to help with comprehension. I just can’t get him to speak English 😅
I exclusively speak my native language with the kids, no matter what language they address me with. Whether the kids speak it back depends on the kids, and a lot of the time kids will optimize and speak the language everyone knows. I find that after my parents visit, the kids speak my native language more, because they pick up the conversations.
As long as the kids understand fine and say enough words that they know how to pronounce every word in your language without an accent, I wouldn’t try to push it on them. They’ll probably know enough that they can pick it up easily without any accent when they feel like they need it.
One more data point: I have a friend whose parents are Chinese, but she was born in an English speaking country. She never speaks Chinese when addressing her sister who speaks both languages well, but always speaks Chinese with her mother, whose English is quite limited.
So I guess the solution is to expose them to people who don’t speak the local language, so they’ll need to speak English to be understood. How feasible that is depends on your situation.
Yeah. I’ve tried to press that sometimes I don’t understand when he speaks the local language. It’s true because I used to not understand children in the local language, but I do now 🫣.
Honestly I think I need more non native friends with children.
Yeah, that would probably be ideal, or perhaps take the kid on vacation somewhere they’ll get immersed. Watching media in your native language could also help, especially if you’re in a country where dubbing is the norm and they don’t get exposed to it organically.
In the meantime, you should probably take some pressure off. As you noted, your kids will learn English regardless, and if you keep speaking it they’ll probably learn it faster than their peers and with less accents. If you push too hard they might start fighting it, which won’t help their motivation at all.
Yeah. I was worried about the fighting against it thing. So far he seems to like speaking English, but just limited. I try to make it really cool that he speaks two languages. We also have a thing where he teaches me the local language and I teach him English, which is true since I’m not native in the local language.
Basically trying to balance pushing and being careful of being overbearing.
Two ideas to try:
some age appropriate english comic books - how old we talking?
reward engaging in english - I always give my kid recognition for expanding her vocabulary, if they use it appropriately in context and definition. I’ll say “nice - level up on vocab” and fistbump, and if possible reward with something I’ve 3d printed or a sticker or vr time. The recognition and encouragement ‘moment’ have made it fun for them.
You can try one parent one language: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/life-bilingual/201504/one-person-one-language-and-bilingual-children
And now I feel the need to post this https://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2012/08/a-man-once-tried-to-raise-his-son-as-a-native-speaker-in-klingon/
Try exposing him to more native English speakers. Right now he probably thinks you’re some kind of weirdo. Once he realises that English is a language not just spoken by dad, things might click.
Yeah I’ve been trying to do this. He definitely had this because he gets excited and surprised when people speak to him in English.
