Granted. From now on, you will be the tallest person in every room, but you will have to duck to get through most doorways. 

Granted, but it always comes off as arrogance

Granted. You are now totally confident … and totally incompetent. Enjoy your new career as a consultant or politician.

Granted, all your online usernames change from petertheprettygood to peterthegreat.

[@[email protected]]

Granted, you are very confident, but that’s only because of your poor memory - your life continues to be a consistent string of repeated failure