Granted. You’re given a printout of your DNA sequence.

It’s a stat block.

That’s right, you’re an NPC.

It’s a Call of Cthulhu sheet.

Granted. You can see your character sheet but there’s almost no new information on it.

However, now you know for certain that we live in a simulation. This gives you an existential crisis that you can’t deal with for the rest of your digital life.

Granted … all your stats seem to be below average.

Granted. You see a generic villager stat sheet.

Granted.

Granted but you notice all the stats are as low as they’re allowed to be