Are you fucking sorry?

Brain cell 1: just walk away without saying anything

Brain cell 2: correct yourself, dummy

Mouth: awkward stammering before sheepishly walking away

The underpaid cashier: “Thanks, stop again.”

Something that genuinely happens a lot to me:
Not being able to decide when to say cool or good, so the word that finally comes out sounds like ghoul.

I once told an older colleague, “You’re the mom!”

“You’re the man!” had fused with, “You’re the bomb!”

Never had I ever seen such a pronounced look of wtf.

Have a nude day!

this is why we don’t talk to women