I remember that something my mom was talking about hurt my feelings, and made me angry, but this time I said something. I love her, I rely on her, there is a lot I can’t do with out her but there is a lot of stress right now and I am not handling it well. I remember her putting on her shoes and driving away, thinking I was going to be homeless.

I called the suicide hotline but got disconnected, I don’t know if it was my phone or theirs, I screamed and cried, I must have been hitting myself, I know there was a lot of fear, and self hate, I kept saying I don’t know, I think they took me to the hospital in the police car, I know the room I was in was too quiet, they told me I called 911, I just wanted to be gone.

There was a lot I was told and I don’t remember.