The real title should be “don’t count on the police to recover your stolen e-bike”, because it seems like the GPS trackers work, but nobody wants to do anything about the criminals.

Police don’t investigate crimes that hurt the average person?

Shocking.

In short, make sure your local mayor knows that you want the police investigating bike crime. It costs more than a bike is worth to solve individual cases, but it is likely work gets out that the police investigates such crimes and so the total loss is lower.

They’re called “office-sirs” because they take reports and file them and if you don’t show respect, they’ll beat you.

This is also why police won’t respond to reports of gunshots or violent screams coming from a house. It’s 99% likely that someone is being brutally killed, but it’s also entirely possible they were just watching a violent movie on a loud TV, or that the witness reporting what they heard dreamed it or was hearing things, or just lied. Thus, it’s important not to issue warrants, measures designed to help verify circumstantial evidence of a crime, out of the absolutely miniscule chance that the circumstantial evidence is incorrect.

Oh wait, no, everything I just said is insane. I guess cops and judges are just lazy.