• uphillbothways
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    2011 months ago

    In the beginning, humans were dumb as fuck. They still are, but they used to be, too.

  • gregorum
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    11 months ago

    But Santa and the tooth fairy are mythical nonsense, silly child! Krampus and the Easter bunny? Don’t even get me started! Just wait until Hanukkah Zombie and Kwanzaa Bot hear about this! Oy!

  • @Dicska
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    1311 months ago

    Oh but if I went ‘round sayin’ I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away.

    • @luves2spooge
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      511 months ago

      You can’t expect to weild supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

  • @BleakBluets
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    911 months ago

    … symbolically eat his flesh, drink his blood…

    Unless you are Lutheran. In which case they believe Jesus has “real presence” during communion.

    Jesus said it, so it must literally be true, “is means is”.

    • @[email protected]
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      2111 months ago

      this can’t be right. I was raised catholic and I have the word “transubstantiation” burnt into my brain. It means that the cracker and wine have actually become the flesh and blood. So no, it’s not symbolic for christians either

      • @MyFairJulia
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        1511 months ago

        Are they aware of the risk that Jesus‘ flesh could cause prion diseases?

      • FuglyDuck
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        211 months ago

        Well, it’s not symbolic for Catholics.

        Plenty of other denominations look at you a little funny when you insist transubstantiation happens (and I’m pretty sure whoever started thst doctrine made the word up.)

        It was pretty obvious symbolic and metaphorical.

      • @Captain_Waffles
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        111 months ago

        Yep, I remember struggling to learn to pronounce transubstantiation when I was 7 and in speech therapy because I was struggling to pronounce anything correctly. So I was just forced to practice it over and over and over again.

    • @Captain_Waffles
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      811 months ago

      Also Roman Catholic. I was raised that it wasn’t symbolic, but actually transformed into his real flesh and blood. 🤮

  • Johanno
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    711 months ago

    I mean I don’t think even there’s any god there but I think you should at least see the bible as a book that tries to explain the existence of humanity. People back then tried to explain why they are and why everything is. Then we have a few thousand years until they start to write down those stories. Those stories are so weird because people didn’t know shit. However the idea of two people creating humanity must be much older than the old testament since the Mayas had a similar belief where a God creates a man and woman.

    People who literally believe every word in the bible though are just stupid.

    • @shalafi
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      611 months ago

      I think it’s neat that if you squint a bit, Genesis tells the story of the birth of Sol, Earth, evolution and finally human evolution.

      Couple of things created out of order, plants before sea life and such, but not too bad! And their punishment for eating the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge? Now that they’re smart, they’re no longer just hanging around the Garden picking up free food. They have to go out and invent agriculture and work. Now they know they’re mortal, understand death. Pain of childbirth? Big brains!

      Of course there are two creation stories in Genesis, I’m going with the first one.

  • @unreasonabro
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    511 months ago

    naw see you have to expand on the myth. Jbro popped and then flew to teach yall monkeyass motherfuckers bout them muhfuggin lizzid people. Seen? lookout!

  • @Something_Complex
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    311 months ago

    This should end with, have faith, instead of seems plausible

    • @[email protected]
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      3111 months ago

      Except there largely is no explanation for these occurances in the Bible either. Almost all interpretations are not given in the text and are highly culture-dependent.

      The issue is that the claims of the Bible are insane.