Hi, I’m the creator of this group! I wanted to start out by sharing my own plot twist story! It’s quite long, but I hope it inspires others who feel stuck to create their own plot twist in their life! While some plot twists are unexpected others are a choice. But not usually an easy choice.

My story:

Since second grade I decided that I wanted to be a journalist. Over the years, that passion grew. In high school, I became the editor-in-chief of our school newspaper. Then, I studied broadcast journalism in college and joined the student-run newscast. I was working so hard to make my dream career a reality.

A month before graduating college, I accepted my first TV reporter job in another state ten hours away from family. I moved my life to a place where I knew no one to start working in my dream career. I was going live on tv, sharing people’s stories and covering important topics. I even got to fill-in anchor.

On the outside, my life looked great. I was living my dream as a journalist. My family and friends were so proud of me and everyone thought I had a really cool job being on tv and all.

As my years in journalism progressed I realized I was not happy. I was miserable. I thought the sad feelings would pass. I thought I felt this way because it was a new career. There are always growing pains. I told myself, ‘Once I get the hang of everything life will be great’. However, after four years I still felt miserable.

All people saw was that I was on TV. What they didn’t realize is that reporters don’t get paid well. At my first job, I was making $28,000 a year. After a year in the company, I received a 50-cent raise. I did not get into journalism for the money. I had a passion for making a difference in people’s lives. However, the reality of being an adult hit me like a ton of bricks. I was barely making enough money to survive. Did I really want to struggle for the rest of my life? Seasoned reporters who had worked in the industry for over a decade were also struggling and living paycheck to paycheck. Some were even on food stamps and had to use the food bank. Many of us bought our “nice” dresses from Goodwill. If you look hard enough you can find brand-name clothes, some with the tags still on them.

I also feared for my life on a daily basis. I was going live on TV, alone at night in the dark. I was going out to crime scenes where the suspect was still on the loose. I had to knock on random strangers’ doors. Big men would come up to me and say if I pointed the camera in their direction they would break it. The stress and fear got to be exhausting.

I was also tired ALL the time! I even went to the doctor to get blood work done because I thought something was wrong with me. Turns out I was just really tired. My schedule was not consistent so I’d go from working 10 am-6 pm one day to another day working 4 pm-1 am then 2 pm to 10 pm. My body was so confused and I had a hard time sleeping.

I kept persevering because I really wanted to help make a difference in the community. However, with how quickly I was expected to put a story together I felt like I was just slopping stories together. I didn’t have time to be thorough and dive deep into research. I was afraid of mistakes happening from rushing through my writing. It got to the point where I wasn’t thriving, but surviving. I didn’t care what the story looked like as long as it made air. My only focus became making the deadline. (Example: I was assigned a story around 10 am and had until 3 pm to turn the story in and then go live with it at 4 pm., 5 pm and 6 pm. The same story for each time, but written differently)

I also didn’t have any passion for the news stories I was sharing. It was mostly breaking news: car crashes, homicides, and fires. Sure those stories are important, but when that is all you cover it can get to you. I never got to report on anything positive. Only the negative. That really started to take a toll on my mental health. I became afraid of going out in the community on my days off. I felt like I was living in a really dangerous place-which wasn’t true. But when all you cover is the BAD it really starts to seem that way. I developed so much anxiety about everything. If I saw a stranger put their hand in their coat I winced out of fear that they were pulling out a gun.

Lastly, I always felt like I was working. Journalism wasn’t just a career, being a reporter became my identity. It was who I was. I felt I couldn’t “turn it off.” I was always looking for story ideas. There was no work-life balance. I was becoming exhausted. I dreaded going to work after the weekends.

I realized that my dream career was turning into a nightmare. However, I felt I couldn’t leave because I worked so hard to get to where I was at. Would my family be disappointed in me? My boyfriend (now husband) had chosen to move with me for my career. He sacrificed a lot for me to live out my dream. I also felt like I’d be letting my 2nd-grade self down if I left. Plus, I wasn’t sure what career I would do instead. It was my identity. I was a reporter. The thought of not being that terrified me. Who would I be? Who was I as a person without journalism?

I felt stuck. I was miserable, but I was too scared to do anything about it. The fear of the unknown and what I would do instead of news was a lot scarier than me staying in a sucky position. Sure I was miserable, but I was comfortable. I knew what to expect with where I was currently at. There were too many unknowns in leaving.

Finally, I hit by breaking point when I was put in a dangerous situation and my boss didn’t seem to care. I realized I was expendable. So I started looking at communications/ marketing jobs to see if there was something else I could see myself doing. That’s when I came across a job posting for a communications specialist for a school district. I decided to apply. I was terrified to step away from the news, but my husband and family ended up being very supportive of it. They saw how miserable I’d become and just wanted me to be happy.

Well, I ended up getting the job and have never been happier. I’m making double what I was making in news. It’s such a relief to not have stress as much over money. I have a consistent work schedule. I get holidays off! I always had to work every holiday, including Christmas. I get to cover positive stories of all the great things happening in our school district. My boss and coworkers are so nice. In the news, everyone was miserable and it felt very toxic. My news director and producers would always point out what I did wrong and never what I did right. It got to the point where I felt like I sucked at my job and could never do anything right. Now, my boss will thank me for my hard work, and tell me I’m doing a good constantly. Some days my new life doesn’t feel real. I feel like I’m in such a positive environment that I’m waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me. Some people describe news as an abusive relationship and I totally understand why. I feel like a damaged person who is finally being treated normally, but it doesn’t feel normal. It feels like I’m being spoiled.

My work-life balance is amazing! When I’m not at work I don; think about work. I feel so free now that I’m not bonded to the reporter identity. I’m learning more about who I am and what I like to do outside of work. I’ve joined a book club and do Zumba at the YMCA. I am so happy. I can’t change the past, but I wish I would have left the news a lot sooner. It feels so silly to think about how scared I was to leave the news when life on the other side is so amazing. But that’s the thing CHANGE IS SCARY. The fear of the unknown holds a lot of us back and causes us to live a miserable life. I hope that by sharing my story it will inspire someone who is not happy in their life to make a change.

Maybe you’ve been too scared to start your own business. Take the first step and do it. Maybe you’re miserable at your job like I was. Start applying to other places. Action is scary, but it’s so important. You can do it. I and everyone else in this community are here rooting for you!

Take the leap of faith. Open a new door. Close one chapter and start a new one. YOU DESERVE to be HAPPY.

XOXO PandaRaige a.k.a the Recovering Reporter