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I also find that being open is key. My friends know that I need to write stuff down immediately as it happens or I forget it. So they are OK with me pulling out my planner or phone in the middle of a conversation.
While this is mostly true, in my experience creating a new system is worth it enough to keep implementing new ones. Like sometimes the new system will work for awhile (days, weeks, even months), and the increased togetherness for that time period is valuable.
In addition to creating complex systems that can work for a short while, it’s also good to create simple systems that have a chance of working long term. If systems are braindead simple then there’s a much better chance they’ll last, and you’re likely to restart them if they lapse. I’m taking like extremely simple. For example like using a nagging reminder app for just 1 or 2 tasks a day. The app will keep reminding you repeatedly at set intervals over and over again until you actively mark the task as done. I use the app galarm on Android
sometimes the new system will work for awhile (days, weeks, even months), and the increased togetherness for that time period is valuable.
I really like this perspective. It may not bring relief forever, but it bring it temporarily, and that’s also valuable.
It’s similar to how you get yourself into an exercise routine, or really any habit you’re trying to maintain long-term. It’s about consistency and doing something that’s repeatable. Going all out a few times is probably going to burn you out, even breaking the habit once before it’s become your routine can be enough to set a precedence and you fall out of it. But if you start out slow with the bare minimum that you can achieve on a regular basis, even on a bad day, then it’s more likely to eventually just become second nature. Then you start expanding it and adding on to it as you get bored/comfortable with the routine.
I need the first planner to coordinate my use of the other three.
It’s planners all the way down.
I have 2 within 6 feet of my current position.
Do you use them?
When I remember to!
Helps to stabilize the end table with the uneven legs!
Ok, I do use a planner religiously now, but it took me 35 years to get there. And none of the stickers and multicolored pens ever worked…
Remember: try variants on the thing that’s worked best for you in the past. A good chance of a little better is a lot better than a little chance of a lot better.
The planner I got the most use out of was this one that had none of the dates filled out on the calendar. Looking back the months would be January 2017, Febuary 2017, August 2017, April 2018, May 2018, June 2018, November 2019, December 2019, so on and so forth.
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As someone who did this… I still use the pens. Its just I dont work as well with the rigidity of the journal.
My wife has been using a planner for a few years and it really helped her.
It’s not that it never helps, it’s that it’s cliche advice that generally requires a level of functioning above where it’s typically recommended. It also is a crapshoot if it’ll work. I’ve had benefits from the planner before, but often when it’s been recommended I’ve been at a point where remembering to enter things into it or check it was basically out of the question and what I really needed was help getting any scheduling and habits built up. All this combines to the planner being a bit of a joke amongst women with adhd as an object of futile hope and promises that this time for sure we’ll remember to use it.
It’s the equivalent of buying a gym membership. The problem is you’re just not going to use it if you did it because of new years guilt
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