In early May my gf of 4 years broke up with me and at the end of May she moved back to her home country. Since then I’ve been Doing my best to move on like seeing counselors/therapist and taking plenty of time for myself and so far most days I’m doing alright but with her gone I have a constant dread of loneliness and helplessness as right now I just don’t really have any future. no goals or major wants and I’m not really sure where to go from here.
I live in a very small and technically isolated town where the only things to really do is either walk around town or go to one of the many bars. I don’t drink and can’t even hear in bars so that’s a no go. There’s a few sport things that are mainly for the kids and we’ll… I’m not into sports of any sort. So my options for meeting anyone are pretty limited. As in I can either loiter at a Tim Hortons or I can spend time at the gym in town which both don’t really hold much value for meeting people.
Originally, with my now ex, we had planned to move to a city where we could actually do things and have opportunities. We had been working towards it for a while and now that’s completely dead in the water…
I don’t really have any friends in this place and idk what else to do to meet new people since there really isn’t any opportunities to do so. It’s also not the easiest place to get out of because everything is marked up so far above msrp that it’s a struggle to even barely survive with a well paying job. I know it’s bad everywhere right now but it’s especially bad here as prices are still double if not quadrupled compared to everywhere else.
So right now I have no idea what to do. I’m surviving one day at a time with my dog. I want to meet new people and get the fuck out of this town but everything has been such a dead end here that so far my one chance of hope has left me.
I want to know what others might suggest. I have Adhd and struggle with large gatherings and hearing people but I still try my best and I want to at least make a couple new friends. I just don’t know how right now.
I’m really sorry to hear about what you’re going through right now. Breakups can be incredibly tough, and it sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of changes and uncertainties on top of that.
It’s great that you’re seeing a counselor and taking time for yourself, that’s a very positive step. It’s important to remember to focus on your own personal growth during this time, too. You mentioned you’re not into sports, but there might be other hobbies you haven’t tried yet. Experiment with new activities and interests, you might discover something you love and perhaps even meet new people along the way.
Health is another important aspect of personal growth. It sounds like you’ve already considered the gym. Even if it’s not a place to meet people, it can be a great outlet for stress and a way to improve both your physical and mental health.
Even if your town is small, there might be local interest clubs or community events you could join. Even if they’re online, they might provide you with some connection and common ground with others.
If you grew up in this area, reconnecting with old friends could also be beneficial. They might understand your current situation better and could offer some comfort and support.
In the end, always strive to become a better version of yourself. This doesn’t mean you’re not good enough as you are, but that growth is a constant process. When you’re ready, opportunities often present themselves more readily.
Remember, there will always be people who will appreciate and love you just as you are. It’s important to love yourself first, though. You’ve already shown great resilience and self-awareness in this challenging time. You have the strength to navigate through this.
Thank you, this means a lot to me right now!
I do try to always better myself even if it’s only a tiny bit at a time.
I’ll try to find some communities online as I know there genuinely isn’t anything else in this town and unfortunately all the friends I had in school have all moved away and I haven’t had contact with them for a few years now. Shit happens but that’s part of the reason why I want to meet new people and hopefully make some new friends.
Again, thank you. It really does mean a lot to me!
I’m glad you appreciate my response.
You’re not alone in the struggle my brother. A lot of us are struggling with you.
But I assure you, the best is yet to come. So continue to do your best.