I liked this article and wanted to share some thoughts I had while reading it.
An important thing to remember about grief and grieving is it is as much a social process as it is a psychological one. The process is one of closure and moving on undertaken entirely for the benefit of the bereaved because the deceased is simply not able to partake except in effigy.
People are social animals, and religion arises out of those foundations. When we lose a beloved member of our community, it starts a period of psychological and social adjustment that, for better or for worse, religions offer a convenient road map and social process to follow. The shamanic figure in a social group (pastor, imam, rabbi, or other spiritual leader) helps to guide that process with rituals that help the bereaved find their closure. The rituals offered by different religions are old and comfortable to many because they are effective for the adherents of that religion, and perhaps also to former participants of those religions. A common element in these rituals is for the survivors to commune with the memory of the deceased, to celebrate a lost loved one, and to reaffirm the preciousness of life, a catharsis that ushers deceased from person hood into the community’s memory. The community disperses having partaken in a final gesture of love for the deceased, and sent them on to whatever comes next.
In modern life, one would hope to experience such death and loss infrequently, and if so lucky might be expected to fall back on those old and comfortable rituals of our social circle rather than navigate that process alone. Unless you yourself live a shamanic way-- living between reality and a sort of ur-spiritual mindset that eschews the super natural-- you’d probably find the closure process more challenging. Most people simply aren’t wired to face death, and to counsel others in their grief. In such times that framework and the community around it are attractive, and so thoughts of an afterlife without the hardships of daily life come naturally.
Saying goodbye is hard, but religion offers frameworks that effectively guide communities through a grieving process towards a stable state of closure. Is believing in Heaven or Paradise or Reincarnation healthy? Perhaps, but maybe only because it’s less healthy for everyone to face the alternative alone.
I liked this article and wanted to share some thoughts I had while reading it.
An important thing to remember about grief and grieving is it is as much a social process as it is a psychological one. The process is one of closure and moving on undertaken entirely for the benefit of the bereaved because the deceased is simply not able to partake except in effigy.
People are social animals, and religion arises out of those foundations. When we lose a beloved member of our community, it starts a period of psychological and social adjustment that, for better or for worse, religions offer a convenient road map and social process to follow. The shamanic figure in a social group (pastor, imam, rabbi, or other spiritual leader) helps to guide that process with rituals that help the bereaved find their closure. The rituals offered by different religions are old and comfortable to many because they are effective for the adherents of that religion, and perhaps also to former participants of those religions. A common element in these rituals is for the survivors to commune with the memory of the deceased, to celebrate a lost loved one, and to reaffirm the preciousness of life, a catharsis that ushers deceased from person hood into the community’s memory. The community disperses having partaken in a final gesture of love for the deceased, and sent them on to whatever comes next.
In modern life, one would hope to experience such death and loss infrequently, and if so lucky might be expected to fall back on those old and comfortable rituals of our social circle rather than navigate that process alone. Unless you yourself live a shamanic way-- living between reality and a sort of ur-spiritual mindset that eschews the super natural-- you’d probably find the closure process more challenging. Most people simply aren’t wired to face death, and to counsel others in their grief. In such times that framework and the community around it are attractive, and so thoughts of an afterlife without the hardships of daily life come naturally.
Saying goodbye is hard, but religion offers frameworks that effectively guide communities through a grieving process towards a stable state of closure. Is believing in Heaven or Paradise or Reincarnation healthy? Perhaps, but maybe only because it’s less healthy for everyone to face the alternative alone.