Art by Mrlovenstein

  • kamenLady.
    link
    115 months ago

    Very sorry to hear that, i hope there’s a near future in which you can come together with your father again.

    What gets me every time, is the similarities in all stories i hear. It got really bad one time with my father, when we had a LGTBQ related discussion. I’m always shocked when i hear Anti-LGTBQ discussion points. It’s like, they would rather kill 'em all, than to just live their own live and give a fuck who is fucking who.

    As long as it’s all consensual adults …

    Society should rather look at the sexual activities in their own circles. Most children are abused by relatives. While i have never heard of a transgender person abusing a child, i constantly hear about priests abusing children.

    I live in another country than my parents and sometimes I’m grateful for that. I don’t know how i would have handled it, if we had constant contact and am somehow happy i didn’t have to. The distance is hard enough, everyone is getting older and i would love to be able to sit with my father in the garden and watch birds, like in the long ago times.

    I opted to evade discussion and to try not to discuss anything politics with my father. I don’t want to spend the limited time we have together, fighting with him over such an absurd take on everything alive.

    Think about it, the older they get, the less they’ll change. I figured that I’ll have to ignore that, talk about others things. It’s the only way, if i want to keep our relationship alive. There’s no more time to let grass grow over it or to let time heal things.

    • Scrubbles
      link
      fedilink
      English
      25 months ago

      I appreciate it, and I hope your interactions with your father go better too. I know many many people who take your approach, just avoiding it. There’s no real right or wrong way, because we shouldn’t be in that position in the first place. I hope they stop bringing it up around you and respect your wishes about it.

      Re: circles, maybe keeping it personal will help too. Turning off Fox news and sources will help, but my dad sure did shut up when I brought up the people he knew (and I know he liked) that he was talking about. They always go “They’re one of the good ones”, but then the reverse is “These policies effect the good ones too, dad”

      • kamenLady.
        link
        25 months ago

        i really appreciated our conversation. It made me rethink my behavior and realize that only avoiding talking about the elephant in the room may be the wrong thing.

        Let’s see what the future brings.

        I sure hope our dads may come around one day and also try to talk and discuss everything, without going directly into “I’m right, fight me” mode.

        • Scrubbles
          link
          fedilink
          English
          2
          edit-2
          5 months ago

          I know it’s weird here on the fediverse, but I’ve been through it. If you want, DM me anytime, or DM me and I can give my mastodon. Should probably start a community sometime. It’s been good talking to you too!

          I wish you luck, but be prepared for anger in response. Just be ready for it. Make it not about the politics but instead the hate, the anger. Hell try to make it about politics but instead make it about the hate. It’s not about Biden or trump, it’s the anger.

          • kamenLady.
            link
            15 months ago

            Same goes for you - DM anytime. Good advice in your last paragraph. Thanks!