There’s no objective test for determining if you’re trans or not. To me, being trans is simply a label you can choose to subscribe to (or not). It comes with some expectations, sure, but you’re not obligated to hold yourself to any of those expectations–at all, if you don’t want to.

Perhaps a more useful way to think about it is: do you think you would be happier to be perceived and treated as a different gender? I started off with the “button test.” If you could press a button, and it would instantly change your gender and appearance to match what you envision, would you press it? What if the button took a week to work instead? A month? And so on, until you reach the logical conclusion: What if it took several months to years, wouldn’t necessarily make you look perfect, and potentially had the risk of some negative side effects (i.e., worked exactly like hormone therapy)?

I’d also stress the importance of finding a good affirming therapist who will accept you as you are, but also give you more tools and ways of thinking about it that you wouldn’t necessarily have on your own. I think, looking back, there were lots of “bad” reasons I wanted to transition (and some fantastic ones!) but it took a lot of time and introspection to sort those out since I didn’t have someone to help guide me–some of the bad reasons were why I paused transitioning just to have some time to figure things out.

Take things at your own pace, don’t push yourself to do or be anything you don’t want to. Wishing you luck on your journey, wherever it leads! :)