“It has a smooth finish, virtually indestructible, and it writes upside-down.” [None of these will be true] “Also, with our Ink Anytime subscription service, you’ll never run out of ink! It’s free…” [for the first six months] “for our lowest tier…” [three lines of text per day] “with an option to upgrade to a higher tier anytime.” [Puts pen in pocket] “We’re offering pre-orders with a $5 non-refundable deposit, with delivery expected sometime in the next six months depending on how soon you get on the waitlist.” [Two years until you give up and just let us keep your deposit] “So sign up now!”