basically I’m the quiet one and even though she never was my supervisor, she acted like it. I was doing my job and she kept pestering me to help her with something she could do alone. I told her to wait, she kept calling me. I ignored her to do my job, she kept calling until I exploded:
First I said I don’t want to argue. She kept nagging me.
I yelled: leave me alone. She started a chain of expletives and called somebody. I don’t know who she called, but I assume somebody from management.
She’s the popular one and has been working there for 15 years already.
Back to today: I work in the same department, but another building, doing exactly the same, but it stings that nobody ever called me to ask for my side of the story. I feel disrespected and angry.
This is also a job I haven’t been happy for the last 2 months, before this conflict with this coworker, meaning I’ve been applying for positions, both for promotions within my company (office job instead of mechanical job) and for jobs elsewhere. After finding out the real story, after knowing how much power a popular person has over you, I only want to move on as soon as I can to another department or quit altogether.
The rational solution would be to focus on the office job within the same company away from that coworker and that department, but I’m not making much sense now…
It hurts.
Is this the right way of going through life?
You yelled at her. That is 100% not acceptable workplace behaviour.
I feel like you could benefit from reading AskAManager.org for some insight on how to handle conflicts at work.
I’m sorry to tell OP this is accurate.
That’s the things about bully victims getting the consequences. The bullies go as far as they can without getting in trouble, and they probe deeper and deeper and only get mild warnings. Because they understand the rules. If you get pushed over the line you get the consequences, not the nagger, not the bully.