alternative post title: how can I grow a thicker skin, so I simply stop caring what my coworkers think or say?

I’m still looking for a drama free workplace and I don’t understand why people seem to enjoy creating chaos out of nowhere

Working in several industries, I’ve met:

  • white Christian nationalist: too many Arabs and Mexicans in our country, somebody should send them all back to where they belong, and I’m very Christian. This was 5 minutes after meeting me for the first time. Why even tell this to a coworker?

  • Married woman complaining to me about how her husband isn’t so affectionate nowadays: 2 minutes after meeting me for the first time. Who does that? Shouldn’t you tell this to somebody you trust, like a friend and not a stranger you met 2 minutes ago?

  • An anti vaxxer trying to convert me to his cause, or however you want to call it.

  • And just today: ‘it’s good that Trump was shot’ Why would a sane person blurt that out in the middle of our pause for everyone to hear you? Why do you need to antagonize your coworkers? This was a manager btw.

I have waaaaay more examples, but I’ll keep it simple.

I just want to work and go home. Completely drama free. I don’t want to care what coworkers think, but apparently I’m very thin skinned and I’m easy to be triggered. Each of the examples I wrote triggered me: I wanted to yell ‘fck off, you piece of sht, I don’t give a f*ck what you think, leave me alone’, or something like that. But I need the job.

My conundrum: If this happens at every workplace, wouldn’t it make more sense to stay with the devil you know?

Unless, of course, you’ve job hopped till you found a drama free workplace… please tell me how you did it.

I want to be the old guy who doesn’t give a f*ck about stuff like this, yet it still triggers me.

  • @[email protected]
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    fedilink
    75 months ago

    generally people in the creative industries are nicer and drama free, but when they melt down they really melt down. I’ve worked on a few big movies, famous artist music videos - they’ve all been lovely. Worked for a small scale entertainment company, was a complete nightmare.

    in the corpo world I have found very few people that are just chill, but I work with a lot of startups with VC funding - so likely a lot of pressure and billionaire bootlickers. Worked for a large TV shopping channel, old money, it was like a competition to see who could be the most bigoted; worked for a newly minted $50MM startup, everyone trying their hardest to be a cool rude dude who could out-cuss Gordon Ramsay.

    I remain incredibly nice, thoughtful, understanding, professional, my LinkedIn is filled with positive recommendations.