• @[email protected]
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    394 months ago

    My understanding is that doctors often don’t just question but often refuse if they think the person should not do it. To be clear, that refusal is generally based on personal opinion, not for medical reasons.

    • @theangryseal
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      84 months ago

      My wife’s gynecologist has asked her if she wanted to get her tubes tied during all three of our pregnancies. It didn’t offend us, we have the kids we want now and she said yes this last time.

      I appreciated him asking. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s on that list.

      • @WhyFlip
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        44 months ago

        Isn’t it far safer for a man to get a vasectomy?

        • @theangryseal
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          4 months ago

          Yeah it definitely is. I’m older than her though and we discussed it. I could end up kicking the bucket or our relationship might fail and she wants to plan ahead for the unknown.

          We’ve got a few more weeks to talk about it, but ultimately I might end up getting a vasectomy too just to have it over with. I have plenty of kids.

          I have two adopted and 5 biological, so I’m good at this point.

          Hell, I was good 3 kids ago really. Haha

          I wouldn’t trade any of them for anything in this world though.

        • @[email protected]
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          24 months ago

          Generally yes vasectomy is safer. But if they’re planning to give birth via c-section for whatever reason for example, then in practical terms there’s basically no additional risk. Plus neither method is totally effective. So if you can both get fixed you have much better chances of not getting pregnant accidentally.

    • @[email protected]
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      44 months ago

      This is exactly the issue. A friend of mine knew for a fact she never wanted to have children, but at the time was in her early twenties. Finding a surgeon who would do it was damn near impossible. Half of them refused without speaking with her husband (!) the other half just refused period saying she was young and didn’t know what she wants and would change her mind later.

      At NO point was ‘my body my choice’ part of the discussion.

      There was a similarly good thread on Reddit a couple weeks back about a woman who just gave birth and was having a lot of pain and knew something was wrong, and the doctor just dismissed her and said she’s being hormonal. It wasn’t until her husband threatened to sue the hospital that they finally got her a different doctor, who rushed her into the ER and as I recall said if she waited another day she’d have died.

      The point is, and the problem is, that medical establishment has an awful habit of denying women agency over their own bodies. Always wrapped in valid reasons, but the result is still the same.