now facing mortality is what it’s taken to make me less shy, be bold and start interacting with people

I’m at a nude beach enjoying my ta-ta’s before the doctor cuts them off soon

and what I REALLY want is a man to suck my nipples & flick the tip with his tongue, NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THAT TO ME BEFORE although I look like this, life has been hell & hard work & torture and it has made me withdraw from people so I’ve literally never had a boyfriend, and now soon my doctor is going to cut off my boobs and I’ve never even had a chance to play with them

DO YOU REALIZE HOW FUCKING TRAUMATIC THIS IS

Well today my impending mortality is making me brave like never before, I got brave and the first naked man I saw, I was startled at first, then I was alone for a minute and my arm accidentally brushed against my nipple and it felt good and I don’t want to play with myself. I want to ask that man if he’ll please pretty please flick the tip of my nipples with his tongue,

then I thought, Wait, you can’t just ask a stranger that

ugh so my brain went blank again. As usual.

but I’m facing death now, it’s now or never, so I went back, approached him and just started babbling…

we had a conversation, he was nice

but I had no idea how to ask him if he could suck on my nipples, and I would love to throat his cock (OMG I saw it and it was glorious) we could play with each other naked

as soon as my brain went blank again I panicked because I thought he would think I’m an idiot so I concluded our conversation and wished him a good day

BUT SEE WHAT HAPPENED? CANCER MADE ME TALK TO SOMEONE! This is incredibly rare.

Update: Next day I went back and didn’t worry about how sexually frustrated I was, just lived in the moment & enjoyed topless pole dancing and I did FIVE pullups today at the nude beach playground, and FIVE is the most I’ve ever been able to do! So I’m feeling light, playful, in peak health notwithstanding this cancer growing in me, I have enough time to play at the beach before my 2pm surgical consultation appointment today

BUT GUESS WHAT HAPPENED just as I was headed back to my car, a gorgeous man stopped me and chatted me up and within 5 minutes we were 🥰😘🍆🍑

And the first thing he did after he untied my string bikini, without me even asking, he sucked my nipples and I am just so happy, THANK YOU UNIVERSE for answering my sexually frustrated cries

Then my doctor appointment a couple hours later was about discussing cutting off my cancerous boobs 😭 It’s going to happen in August or September ✂️😭