As a mother, I often face unrealistic expectations and judgments from others regarding my parenting choices. However, there is one thing I absolutely refuse to worry about: matching my kids’ socks. I don’t give a sock, and you shouldn’t either.

I am well aware that some people may view mismatched socks as sloppy or lazy. Well, guess what? Keep your opinions to yourself, Karen. I don’t criticize your crippling Xanax addiction or your outdated Capri pants. Where’s the flood, Karen?

Just the other day, a father at preschool drop-off had the audacity to comment on my child’s socks. Oh, wow, Mr. Sock Gestapo, congratulations on your heroic mission to police the world of socks. Maybe you should report me to the Sock Police for a “sock wellness check.” And while you’re at it, go home to your wife, Kyle, instead of cheating on her.

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