As a mother, I often face unrealistic expectations and judgments from others regarding my parenting choices. However, there is one thing I absolutely refuse to worry about: matching my kids’ socks. I don’t give a sock, and you shouldn’t either.
I am well aware that some people may view mismatched socks as sloppy or lazy. Well, guess what? Keep your opinions to yourself, Karen. I don’t criticize your crippling Xanax addiction or your outdated Capri pants. Where’s the flood, Karen?
Just the other day, a father at preschool drop-off had the audacity to comment on my child’s socks. Oh, wow, Mr. Sock Gestapo, congratulations on your heroic mission to police the world of socks. Maybe you should report me to the Sock Police for a “sock wellness check.” And while you’re at it, go home to your wife, Kyle, instead of cheating on her.
Read the rest of this satire news article and more at TattletaleTimes.com
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My daughter intentionally had weird socks that she would wear mismatched all through middle school.
It never occurred to me that this should be considered anything other than a preteen kid expressing herself in a harmless way.
Unfortunately, those mismatched socks led her into a spiral of drugs, alcohol, prostitution, grand theft, larceny, homosexuality, and general mischief.
If only I had paid more attention and been a more dedicated parent of podiatric fashion responsibility.
(The part above the line is true. The part below the line is Internet outrage cosplay)
Unfortunately, those mismatched socks led her into a spiral of drugs, alcohol, prostitution, grand theft, larceny, homosexuality, and general mischief.
I swear i heard this line in DARE but referring to marijuana
podiatric fashion responsibility
that’s great, i should add this to the article somewhere
I’ll expect my usual commission for the contribution - an odd number of mismatched socks.
Can’t wear mismatched socks if you buy 80 pairs of the same sock. Just grab two from the clean bin and you’re ready to face the day.
Walking round the house? White ankle socks.
Birthday party? White ankle socks.
Your niece’s christening? White ankle socks.
Day at the office? Wouldn’t you know it, white ankle socks.
Trip to Canada? Couple pairs of white ankle socks with extra as backup.
Going to the beach? I got flip flops for that.
You’re an animal if you only wear white socks
serial killer vibes! :D
Ankle socks no less
White ankle socks are perhaps the least versatile of generic sock types.
I can wear mismatched socks, but they need to be from the same “set.”
If I buy a pack of six with each pair having different colours, it’s fine to mix those. Mixing a cotton sock with a bamboo sock would not be acceptable for me. Full length sock with an ankle sock would also not be acceptable.
I’m with you. I also always get rid of a sock if it has a hole in it. So there’s a lot of non-color matching but same type pairs. My husband refuses to fold my socks because it’s too “complicated.”
I literally could not give a flying fuck if my socks match, there are few activities that I regularly engage in I find as asinine as pairing socks. I do, however, get utterly bored of being told my socks don’t match, so I conform.
What a homosocksual.
that’s a great line i should have had in the article. the more i think about it, a homosocksual would have 2 of the same socks. mismatching socks would technically be a heterosoxual.
Yeah, but the guy complaining about mismatched socks is clearly homosocksual. :)
Ha I get it now, perfect
variety is the spice of life
I’m more surprised that people can keep matching socks. My son almost always takes them off immediately after his shoes and they get tossed to who knows where.
He wore a baby Yoda sock and a Gary the snail sock today.
My youngest likes to have different sock with matching themes.
What counts as a matching theme?
I’m not always sure, but it is very deliberate. Like she will have a cat sock on and be searching for a rainbow sock and insist on that sock.
That sounds extremely cute, thanks for sharing.
If it’s not morally or physically dangerous, let your kids make their own choices.
My parenting style as well!
This is a fun article and I enjoyed reading it. But, and this may be because I’m not a parent, this reads to me less like satire and more like a decent take borne of frustration.
Yeah, this is real life. Lol
I just buy a bulk bag of white socks. No need to worry about finding a match or losing a sock if she has 19 more that look exactly the same…
I wear mismatched socks all the time! Sometimes I even do it on purpose lol
I have another pair just like it at home.
that’s deep
My kids (9 and 11) seem to think it’s a fashion statement. They never match. Whatever.
it is rather popular. even a company that literally made a name for themselves selling them. the girls here love their littlemissmatched socks.
My kid’s school literally celebrates an “odd socks day” to raise awareness about bullying, so anyone complaining about how my kid dresses would seem extra insane
That’s nice. Good luck with that.
