I would say the pandemic, but for the better, let me explain: What happened is that several things came together at that time: my first (and at the moment my last) breakup, failing almost all the subjects of the two universities I attended at the same time, the stress of attending two universities at the same time, and then the pandemic happened.

I had literally broken down as a person, as a human being. I needed help and I sought it wherever I could. I was never very close to Christianity like my family, so I couldn’t find answers there, but I did have some interest in Buddhism, so I took advantage of the lull in the world because of the pandemic to read about it, and that helped me a lot. I didn’t convert to Buddhism or anything, but I was able to assimilate some of its teachings into my way of seeing the world and allow myself to heal. I began to accept myself, to forgive my mistakes, to stop seeing myself as a failure and a burden to my family. When I found the limits of what I could accomplish on my own to continue healing, I sought professional psychological help, something that was unthinkable for me before. I started medication and have been feeling much better ever since.

I can now say with complete confidence that I like the person I am now, I am more confident in my abilities and I am more optimistic about my future. I think if I had continued with my pre-pandemic pace of life I would have collapsed, maybe not even still be alive.

I believe that from time to time one needs to stop for a moment, step out of the mad tide of the world and allow oneself to heal so as not to succumb.