“In the entire dataset, 29% of men said they never approached a woman in person before. 27% said it had been more than one year. This was larger for men in the age 18-25 group: 45% had never approached a woman in person,” according to the study.
A majority of single males surveyed reported fear as the main reason they do not approach women for dates in person. Fear of rejection and fear of social consequences were the two most common responses.
The data highlights a growing concern in the United States and abroad — loneliness. A 2023 report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found that almost half of U.S. adults report “measurable levels of loneliness.”
It’s interesting to say the least. It seems as though the social repercussions and rejection are the most profound reason. While the fear of rejection is easy enough to digest. But I think the fear or social consequences is a relatively new construct.
From what I understand it’s the fear of being viewed as a creep to approach a woman out of the blue. Which to me, is reasonable enough. But I don’t think I have ever heard my old man or anyone of his generation bringing this to the table.
Yet I do remember asking my friends about picking up hints and whether or not men are really that bad at it. And most them saying the just don’t want to risk misinterpreting it.
Perhaps there is an argument to be made that approaching women like this, has fallen out of social fashion. What do you guys think?
p.s. I hope this is casual enough of a conversation. I kinda screwed up my last one, I admit.
Edit: Here is a more detailed paper on the survey for those that are interested
A female friend once said that, at least in the US, men are often viewed by women as being either creepy or not creepy. The not creepy men have learned to avoid women due to the creepy men, so the only men who would approach a woman must be creepy.
Make of that, and its consequences, what you will.
Well what I make of that is, that it’s (perhaps) an out of date social norm ;)
It would seem so.
That’s a really good way of putting it.
I think its more that ‘creepy’ is just a less blunt measure of attraction.
I mean sure there are legit creepy people out there but that’s a lot rarer than people believe (because the internet steeps us in creepy people all day).
I’ve seen good looking chuds do the most stalkerish of shit and get away with it, I’ve seen well meaning ugly people treated like shit at every turn.
There are asexual men too. And asexual women.
Not creepy, aka attractive/ with money.
It’s such a tired line. You know what everyone finds creepy, people who don’t respect your personal boundaries and don’t understand basic concepts of consent. Neither Money nor looks can make up for that in the slightest.
That’s simply not true, the golden boy trust fund blonde and blue eyed track star at my HS cornered and raped two students his first year, on school campus.
Nothing serious happened, no one ‘othered’ him, the language always framed him as ‘just a guy who got too horny, like boys do’.
He probably had done more but after the first two came forward and not even the cops got involved, all the rest of the girls clammed up.
Oh yeah it can. You see it everywhere in the news.
I would tend to disagree quite a bit. Most of the couples I know say they chose each other because they felt most at home with each other.
Do you think they would have got together if they weren’t physically attracted to each other? Cmon.
Some of them, yes. There’s more than one kind of attraction in the world, it’s not just physical attraction or wealth attraction. There’s mental attraction, vocal attraction, attraction based on having been one’s deep friend in the past, attraction based on shared interests, etc. Physical attraction actually didn’t used to be all the rage as much as it is now.
Do you think you could have sex with a ugly dude face on top of yours, breathing heavily? I could not do that with a ugly girl. If people get together usually they can at the very least see some attractive physical traits in their partner. No wonder once almost everyone gets uglier with age they divorce.
But I don’t even have that.
If you can’t think outside the box, you’re not going to succeed, because outside the box is where the goal is. There is more to a partnership than that, otherwise such a thing would be relatively pointless.
(Also we should steer clear from NSFW discussions here.)
Not creepy, aka doesn’t say stuff like this.
I’ve read all your comments so far and this combined with the ‘deserve love and cuddles’ shit… You dropped your mask buddy