A mammoth 27 per cent of Britons think that they could qualify for a sport at the next Olympics if they started training today, according to new research by YouGov.
Shooting came out on top as the sport that most people thought they could represent their country in at Los Angeles 2028, no doubt inspired by the memes of Turkish shooter Yusuf Dikec.
He arrived in Paris minus the traditional eye and ear protection and shot his way to a silver medal with one hand in his pocket.
Of those questioned, 15 per cent thought they could qualify in the 10m air rifle event, while 13 per cent fancied their chances in archery.
Most shocking was that six per cent believed they could qualify for the 100m in just four years, and seeing as the qualifying time is 10 seconds for men and 11.07 seconds for women, we should apparently have high hopes for 2028…
At the bottom of the scale, only three per cent of Britons think they could qualify in rhythmic gymnastics, artistic gymnastics, diving, rugby sevens or skateboarding – which is surprising when you consider Team GB’s only entrant in men’s skateboarding at Paris 2024 was 51-year-old Andy Macdonald, who could have inspired a generation.
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Maybe most surprising is that 15 per cent of the over-65s think they could compete at an Olympic level in four years if they put their mind to it.
I feel people are really underestimating chimpanzees - they will tear your arm off and beat you to death with it.
Not to mention the 8% who think they can fight a Gorilla!
I feel like the 28% who think they will lose a fight with a rat are my kind of people.
Gorillas aren’t as violent and aggressive as chimps - one could do you harm if you aggravated it enough but a chimp would need no such excuse. I’d probably rather fight a gorilla than a goose - they’re mean.
Geese are all bark and no bite though
But they will happily peck a fight for no good reason.
Plus also, see this.
All honk, no bonk
“Could you beat a rat in a fight if you were unarmed?”
“Hmmm… Is the rat armed?”
“Uh…what? No…”
“Ah ok. Then no.”