I previously made a now-deleted post somewhat related to this topic in the wrong community SHHHHHH. This is more broad.
Barring friends of friends, I have not made a new friend ever outside of school. As someone with a really niche personality, it’s hard to be brave enough to approach new people–nobody’s as weird as I am. I actually used to have a friend group that fit my personality, but it dissolved due to more drama than I can even comprehend. That’s why I’m in this situation, was all of that.
I’ve chosen not to go to college. That’d be my best outlet for meeting new people, but I simply don’t want to deal with debt. So, my time to meet as many people as possible has been cut somewhat short.
There’s a saving grace, though. I’m a furry–this is the niche personality part. Cons would be great, but, to keep it short, I just don’t have that capability right now. I’m not even IT yet, but my fate is sealed.
In the meantime… I am very bored. Thanks for reading.
I was talking to my wife yesterday about how I gained social skills as an adult, and part of it was making a deliberate effort to start conversations with at least a few strangers everyday. Not hold a conversation, merely start one. Doing this for a while helps you get comfortable making chit chat and feeling out if it’s worth continuing a conversation, and breaks down the idea that every conversation has to be meaningful.
Not sure if this helps you, but it really helped me.
As for where to go, look for gatherings like flea markets, car shows, street fairs, anything. Even if you don’t care about the topic, be there for the people, and keep an open, curious mind. Maybe even make a game out of it, like the meow game, or some other goofy phrase, or try to ask a variety of people the same question. Or bring something that is a conversation starter like a dog, or juggling balls, or something small related to your furry hobby. The idea is to be around people in a mode that makes interaction easy.
Meeting people is just the first part though. Moving on to friendship obviously takes more work and time.
In what settings is it socially acceptable to talk to strangers?
Anywhere strangers tend to be around each other long enough to where small talk might be a welcome distraction: waiting in lines for something, sitting at a community table or bar/counter with mixed groups (especially while waiting for the rest of your respective friend groups to show up), sitting next to each other at a public event like live sports or a concert with downtime, volunteer events where you might be set up next to strangers doing the same thing, etc.
It’s easier when there’s a natural end to the interaction (your turn in line, the start of the sporting event), too.
Smartphones and headphones have made it harder, but there are still opportunities when people are bored and sitting around.
Most settings, the key is paying attention to indicators of interest/disinterest. If someone isn’t engaging with you beyond grunts, looks visibly uncomfortable, etc. that’s your cue to gracefully exit.
This is the hard part for a lot of people, properly gauging interest after initiation and knowing when to move on. If it’s not intuitive, unfortunately there’s not much else you can do to improve this other than practice.
(Almost) All settings if you don’t act like an idiot/creep.