I moved a lot during my life, living in the 4th country now, stayed in each one for about 15 years. Therefore I had to find friends from outside of school.

Here is a list of how I found them:

20’s:
- through my cousin, he was a coworker with my future best friend
- started a band with a friend and his cousin, then we kicked out the friend and got a better drummer. Through the band we met a ton of other musicians while playing life and became friends with them
- I joined a IRC channel about writing HTML and CSS, once a year we met in real life. Over time I became closer friends with some of them and we visited each other semi regularly. We still hang in the same chatroom, over 20 years ago. Half of us moved abroad, so we can’t meet IRL that often anymore, but we are still friends
- after moving countries I made a house warming party and asked my (now ex) wife’s brother to invite his friends, I brought 50 liters of beer from Germany to this party in Sweden. This group became my core group of friends even after the divorce

30’s:
- work, I became very good friend with one of my coworkers, we even started a new company together because I was the only one who wasn’t afried to try it
- university, yeah normal
- one uni friend pulled me in to the company he worked for where there were very many super cool guys and I became friends with many of them. Even now like 7 years after we don’t work together we still meet regularly for grill parties, etc.

40’s:
- after another move, to South Korea, this one is tough because I still don’t speak the language, but after we got our son, my fiancé opened a public group on the Internet for couples who have a small child and one of the parents is a foreigner. Many of them don’t quite fit me as friends but we still meet some of them for play dates and so on so our friendship is growing
- I was on the playground and there was another foreigner dad and we started talking about the kids and everything else, then we exchanges phone numbers and are meeting regularly and it’s fun because conversations are easy, so he is the clothest thing to a friend I have here. But I have no idea how it would go if I need help in some bad situation, etc. because we didn’t have any yet.

So yeah, this is kind of where I found my friends outside of school. Perhaps it can be some inspiration for you.

Go to eventbrite or meetup and check out all the free events in your area that are interesting to you, then just show up.

I met a few good friends by joining a local, free run club in the area. We were all the slow people at the back 😂

I moved and the friendships didn’t last, but I think that’s just part of life. The older I get, the more stars need to align to maintain relationships.

I’m meeting all the single women on my area (mostly moms and elderly widows) by setting up a company that does plumbing, home improvement and property maintenance jobs.

I’ll be your friend.

• Do you have a religious affiliation? A lot of people go to the social events of their local church/mosque/temple to meet “safer” people. You don’t even have to be that religious, it’s often just a cultural thing.
• Are there any team sports you are interested in? A lot of places have amateur or informal leagues. Similarly, martial arts classes can be fun. If you have a local rec center (local government, not private), check it out.
• edit: if you don’t like participating in sports, consider becoming a fan. Pick a local team (maybe pro but better minor-league) and join the fan club, start going to their matches and cheering for them. Alternately, find a local fan club for a foreign team, e.g. the local English Pub shows the Premier League games and the Manchester United fans meet up every game.
• What kind of music you like? Local bars, cafes, even some restaurants may set up musicians, and since they’re not some huge concert they can be free or cheap. Support your local music scene!
• You aren’t going to college, but you may want to check out community college. They’re usually inexpensive and you might as well take a class in something you’re really interested in.
• Check out your local public library, a lot of times they have free talks or movies or reading groups.

Depending on where you are, local clubs probably abound. Anything outdoors is going to be a good start, because they have a vested interest in you coming back to the club to keep it going. All clubs will, but outdoors ones will not want to add any difficulties that might drive off the next generation in their club.

Hiking, running, rowing, biking, skydiving*, geocaching, gardening, birdwatching, fishing (rare, but they’re there!), sailing* (used windsurfers and small sailboats can be less than $1k; not great, but an option), motorcycles*, monowheels, fixer cars, mountain biking, sports (ultimate frisbee, pickleball, soccer, outdoor volleyball, basketball, baseball; all will probably have young adults in organized ways), dancing [don’t discount this one! Especially if you can find a swing club nearby, you will have tons of fun], mud runs, rock climbing*, bodybuilding…

Man, I can’t even think of all the clubs/hobbies I’ve briefly talked to people about. You can definitely find something out there that you’ll enjoy, but you may have to try a loooot. Don’t give up hope.

*these are probably a bigger investment or money sink than the others, either requiring gear, a significant training period, or ongoing costs for travel/maintenance

If you’re interested in making friends with furries online, DM me I know of a telegram chat specifically for that purpose.

Similar boat (sans furry), and I’ve recently decided I’m tired of being lonely. I’ve started going to a trivia night at a local bar that someone from my church hosts, even though I end up playing alone each week*, and I found a MCC church (basically, gay church) and went there, where I found a gay men’s discussion group I’m going to attend on Monday. I have two friends, both straight, but I’m hoping to get them and some people other people either through them or through trivia/discussion group to help start a bowling team.

*Even though I’m the only one playing without a team, I’ve come in second twice!

it’s hard to be brave enough to approach new people

I was talking to my wife yesterday about how I gained social skills as an adult, and part of it was making a deliberate effort to start conversations with at least a few strangers everyday. Not hold a conversation, merely start one. Doing this for a while helps you get comfortable making chit chat and feeling out if it’s worth continuing a conversation, and breaks down the idea that every conversation has to be meaningful.

Not sure if this helps you, but it really helped me.

As for where to go, look for gatherings like flea markets, car shows, street fairs, anything. Even if you don’t care about the topic, be there for the people, and keep an open, curious mind. Maybe even make a game out of it, like the meow game, or some other goofy phrase, or try to ask a variety of people the same question. Or bring something that is a conversation starter like a dog, or juggling balls, or something small related to your furry hobby. The idea is to be around people in a mode that makes interaction easy.

Meeting people is just the first part though. Moving on to friendship obviously takes more work and time.

My friend seems to have good success meeting people in Discord channels about his niche interests, with the caveat that there is a lot more video calling than there is hanging out, because nobody lives in the same state. Maybe join a furry chat and say hello?

dear onlookers, i swear i am not a furry, dear op, there is this app called Barq that i haven’t made any lasting friendships on, but the people i’ve connected with are weird enough that their interests are usually more likely to line up with mine, my most reliable pokemon go raid buddy i met through it, also i used an app for a bit called Meetup that had a lot of weekly events and stuff on it, went to a few game nights in random cafes around my town through it, so depending on your area that can help

I’m as weird as you. Fight me.

I’ve met a friend at a Reddit trees meetup in Chicago, one through League of Legends, and a whole group through Minecraft!

Very recently I decided to touch grass and go do my flow arts in a club in my city, and I get all kinds of attention for being a badass, but nothing particularly personal. It probably doesn’t help that I keep turning girls down because I don’t really know how to engage with them. If I were someone else, it would probably be a good way to meet people. For me though, it’s all about that dance!

I’ve had… thoughts on this lately.

I do social dance (wcs) as one of my several hobbies. And I kind of compare ot to church now. We go once a week, we do the thing, and we have a community around it, with community leaders.

The world might be slowly leaving religion behind, but I have to wonder of we’re losing something else in the process.

(Find some WCA classes in your area, we’re all weird as fuck, it’s a often a community of introverts with a niche interest in common, and set rules of interaction (would you like a dance?))

Have you considered finding events at your local public library?

they may not have anything necessarily furry related, but mine at least has a lot of incredible events and social meetings. Yours probably has something that piques your interest.

What you’re looking for is a “Third Space”- and libraries are a great third space.