• cassie 🐺
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    13 months ago

    Something cool I’ve been seeing lately too is my cis/het friends also finding value in engaging with the queer community. Despite not having any revelations about their own identities, they still get to free themselves from all sorts of vague social rules and gain a lot of vocabulary to describe their own experiences.

    My gruff male vocalist friend gets to be as campy as he likes on stage and has a wider range of presentation he can choose from, without his gender being called into question. My old boss with the rare kind of offensive humor that actually works in the workplace gets to include trans people in the banter, in a way that he very clearly gets from and admires in his nonbinary kid. A good cis friend of mine used the word “dysphoria” to describe something he was feeling and we were able to have a really deep and supportive conversation about it once I realized how similarly it affected us, despite him being very comfortably cis.

    Queer liberation is good for everyone and I’m so happy to see more and more people who get this.

    • @FinishingDutch
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      13 months ago

      That’s definitely been a thing for me personally.

      I’m as boring vanilla straight as you can get. But I’ve worked with a fair few colleagues over the years who were gay, as well as the odd lesbian. They were always great to talk with; very liberating so to speak.

      They didn’t tend to have the same hangups or reservations that most cis/het people tend to have. I definitely noticed that I was more relaxed around them. It also tended to open up new ways of thinking and different, interesting perspectives.

      Our company tends to be quite welcoming; we also have a fair few colleagues with autism for example. I always like meeting people with interesting and unique personalities.

      It might sound weird, but that’s also why I’m hoping to get a trans/NB coworker eventually. Trans people tend to be relatively rare where I am, and it sounds fascinating to talk to them about their perspective on certain topics. I bet that would lead to some interesting insights. It’s a shame not everyone is open to that.

      • cassie 🐺
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        13 months ago

        Doesn’t sound weird at all! It’s a commendable thing to want diverse perspectives around you and to be aware of the gaps that exist in your community.

        I would say that a lot of trans people are open to polite questions, but it can be emotionally difficult to bear the load of educating people while also experiencing the stigma and abandonment that can come with the experience, especially right when coming out. Even good faith questions can feel like being asked the bad faith ones if there’s fresh pain there. A boundary that’s worked for me personally is to say ask me anything, but it has to be OK if I don’t want to answer it, or if I answer it in gory detail.

        Tbh I enjoy talking about this stuff so if you have any specific curiosities feel free to ask! But otherwise I do hope you find some folks to connect with in your environment - and even if they’re hiding, putting out the right energy will make them come to you 😁