“As president, I will nationalize the moon and distribute lunar real estate to every American citizen. We are entering a new space age, and it’s time to secure the future of our nation by claiming the moon as a federal asset. Every citizen will receive twenty-eight acres of moon land, complete with rights to mine precious lunar resources like helium-3, which will power the next generation of clean energy. By 2050, I will establish a permanent lunar colony, complete with affordable housing, universal healthcare, and high-speed internet. You can start planning your retirement on the moon today!”