There is a house I walk by occasionally that I absolutely love. It’s old and run down but definitely art deco in a modest kind of way, with round balconies and a gold brick doorway. As a joke, I keep telling people this is my future house.

I say as a joke because I am a broke millennial. I have accepted my fate of never moving past paying rent for a place to live and spending the remainder of my minimalist income on avocado toast and oat milk lattes.

But recently, I saw a “For Sale” sign in front of the house and this is probably my only chance to ever see its art deco interior, if any is left, before it’s all turned into a modern and soulless place.

I have called the seller and I overheard its asking price when they referred to it as the “1.1 million euro house”. They asked twice if that was indeed the one I wanted to visit.

The visit date will be set next week.

Now, how do I sound like I’m the kind of person who doesn’t flinch at the idea of spending a million euros on a house? What questions do I ask? What might they ask me in return? What are things I shouldn’t say?

Some extra information:

• This is in Brussels, Belgium
• A permit was requested to split the house into 5 apartments (2 floors could be built above the existing 3)
• It was originally built as a single family home

Edit: this is the house

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UPDATE

I got a phone call last Monday about the house. They offered a visit that very day. So I quickly got ready. I tried to make myself look legit (thanks @[email protected] and @[email protected] for the advice) by downloading the permit info, printing it and putting it inside a notebook. It was new and blank, so to make it look used, I added a few papers and paperclips sticking out and a big binder clip holding it open at a random page, where I took some notes: permit number, number of rooms, asking price.

I then met with the real estate guy, I felt apprehensive but excited. I greeted him and he asked if I was more interested in the single home or the apartment project. I said it would be apartments but I was open-minded about the single home. I told him the funds were coming from a relative. I asked if I could take photos for them. And then we started the tour.

A big round staircase is the first thing I saw. Beautiful parquet with exotic wood. Round panels bringing light in here and there. One room still had big yellow flower wallpaper.

My first thought was that the place was much bigger than it looked.

The basement was very damp and moldy in some places. The electrical system was very outdated.

The gound floor still had a wooden built-in cabinet.

I saw a succession of big rooms, rounded edges, big windows. Lots of light.

Next floor still had a bathroom with red tiles, a bidet and very old fixtures. A rusty balcony with windows rounded at the corners.

I asked a little about the house. It was built in 1926, belonged to a doctor.

The plaster was falling off the walls, which were cracked in places. The house seems to have been unused for decades.

The real estate guy told me he estimated the repairs to be probably around another million euros.

Next floor was much of the same, it had a very cool cast iron fireplace with rounded shelves. We walked on a pretty sizeable terrace and looked down at the garden. There was the nicest little staircase curving down to the (overgrown) garden that was just way too damaged to be saved. It was heartbreaking to see everything so broken and rusted. (I don’t have photos of it, my bad.)

There was an old minuscule kitchen in a corner. It had sideways cabinets to save space.

I asked about several things (thanks @[email protected] and @[email protected] for the suggestions), whether there was a humidity problem, whether the cracks were structural, whether the garage got flooded, whether that was asbestos around the basement pipes, and each time the real estate guy said “Hm, I don’t know”. Like thanks but you’re not helping me in my decision.

At one point the guy said I could make a lower offer - like a million - if I wanted it as a single home.

Outside I said we’d keep in touch. I don’t know how passable I was, but he did ask me if I was an architect, so maybe I had some credibility?

So then I went home. I was happy that I finally got to see the house and that it still had stuff inside, but very sad that it is in the shape it is and that I can’t save it.