"Nobody with kids. I might want kids some day, but I’m not ready yet, and it feels like there would be too much pressure to either be involved with her kids or be cut out of a major portion of her life until we’re really serious. And again, not ready.
And somebody athletic, since I’m into biking and hiking and other activities that require a certain level of fitness.
And… well, somebody who isn’t into the whole casual sex thing, honestly. I think sex is special and, for me, requires a strong emotional connection. I want someone who has similar views on sex."
See, I feel like it changes it when you’re not focusing on the other person, but yourself. I’m not ready for kids, I’m into fitness, I’m a demisexual. It sets up the same thing without disparaging people who aren’t what you’re looking for.
I’ll first say that from a social standpoint it makes sense to focus on yourself when asked that. But the person asked “tell me what you look for in a girl”. You would have to be pretty damn masterful at thinking on your feet to take that question and immediately flip your answers into I statements. Especially if you’re anon and obviously don’t get asked things like this a lot.
No kids is a common wish although the reason for it can make or break how fine it is to have.
My guess is that anon is overweight, and the person they were talking to was thinking of friends they had that were overweight and were great people.
Anon betrayed that their preference was a bit delusional and/or didn’t understand that it can take work to be in shape and takes it for granted that women should be expected to be fit for him without him having to do anything. That’s a pretty sour fart of an opinion.
The no dating apps thing is pretty cringe. And could certainly make you seem like a pariah to most people. It definitely betrays a sense of superiority if it’s in your top 3 dating requirements. I feel like anon knowing the word demisexual is slim to none but that would be the best thing you could say.
Actually my guess is that this is fake and anon is just stirring the hate mongering pot.
There are more appropriate ways to say this:
"Nobody with kids. I might want kids some day, but I’m not ready yet, and it feels like there would be too much pressure to either be involved with her kids or be cut out of a major portion of her life until we’re really serious. And again, not ready.
And somebody athletic, since I’m into biking and hiking and other activities that require a certain level of fitness.
And… well, somebody who isn’t into the whole casual sex thing, honestly. I think sex is special and, for me, requires a strong emotional connection. I want someone who has similar views on sex."
See, I feel like it changes it when you’re not focusing on the other person, but yourself. I’m not ready for kids, I’m into fitness, I’m a demisexual. It sets up the same thing without disparaging people who aren’t what you’re looking for.
I like how you put this. Anon was asked requirements and all he gave were deal-breakers. It comes off as desperate, crass, or both.
I’ll first say that from a social standpoint it makes sense to focus on yourself when asked that. But the person asked “tell me what you look for in a girl”. You would have to be pretty damn masterful at thinking on your feet to take that question and immediately flip your answers into I statements. Especially if you’re anon and obviously don’t get asked things like this a lot.
No kids is a common wish although the reason for it can make or break how fine it is to have.
My guess is that anon is overweight, and the person they were talking to was thinking of friends they had that were overweight and were great people.
Anon betrayed that their preference was a bit delusional and/or didn’t understand that it can take work to be in shape and takes it for granted that women should be expected to be fit for him without him having to do anything. That’s a pretty sour fart of an opinion.
The no dating apps thing is pretty cringe. And could certainly make you seem like a pariah to most people. It definitely betrays a sense of superiority if it’s in your top 3 dating requirements. I feel like anon knowing the word demisexual is slim to none but that would be the best thing you could say.
Actually my guess is that this is fake and anon is just stirring the hate mongering pot.
Yep, it’s all about the framing.