I mean, I don’t think we should look to the past for mental stability. Alcoholism, violence, and spousal/domestic abuse are all examples of things that were way more common and borderline-accepted back then. I’d rather someone’s reaction to stress be a panic attack rather than beating their children.
I think it’s more about acknowledging that a lot of people are hyperbolic so they can be perceived as a victim. Anxiety is a real thing but some people act like it’s the peak of human suffrage for attention, and that is worthy of laughing at, not the anxiety itself
internet discourse is so attention-seeking, contentious and unempathetic that I feel like it’s fostered a culture where people expressing hurt are routinely interrogated and doubted just in case they’re seeking undeserved attention. (because some people do!)
so, people are caught between a rock and a hard place. They can be honest about what burdens them in a way that leaves room for critique, and take the emotional damage that comes from the interrogation of their experiences. or they find extreme, bulletproof-sounding, “nobody could be ok under these circumstances” ways of putting their problems that aren’t in line with reality.
The former is honest but puts you at emotional risk when you’re already vulnerable. The latter is inauthentic but does grant the solidarity and support they’re seeking in the first place. I can’t really blame the people who pick door #2, especially when this decision is conditioned over long periods of social media use. It’s also in line with catastrophization, a common distortion many of us experience already.
notably, this has always been a common problem with how PTSD is understood, specifically complex trauma. many people discount their own trauma because it’s not the typical “got my limb blown off” image of trauma and they’ll occasionally be attacked for claiming they are traumatized. So they find more extreme ways to put their trauma that do get them the support they’re seeking. (and need!)
I don’t know what the solution to any of this is but I do feel it comes from a real place and I put the blame more on social media than the individuals, despite how annoyed I can get with people when I see it.
Suffrage is one of those English language-internal false friends - you could easily confuse it with a personalised state of suffering, especially if English isn’t your first language (my bigger anxieties around this is finding out a word I used extensively has a different meaning than I thought)…
“Pahshaw! Don’t listen to Sally over there, she’s just having her woman time. When we get home, I’ll give her a good knock about and she’ll remember herself. Now, where’s my paint thinner? I have a frightful thirst.”
I mean, I don’t think we should look to the past for mental stability. Alcoholism, violence, and spousal/domestic abuse are all examples of things that were way more common and borderline-accepted back then. I’d rather someone’s reaction to stress be a panic attack rather than beating their children.
I think it’s more about acknowledging that a lot of people are hyperbolic so they can be perceived as a victim. Anxiety is a real thing but some people act like it’s the peak of human suffrage for attention, and that is worthy of laughing at, not the anxiety itself
internet discourse is so attention-seeking, contentious and unempathetic that I feel like it’s fostered a culture where people expressing hurt are routinely interrogated and doubted just in case they’re seeking undeserved attention. (because some people do!)
so, people are caught between a rock and a hard place. They can be honest about what burdens them in a way that leaves room for critique, and take the emotional damage that comes from the interrogation of their experiences. or they find extreme, bulletproof-sounding, “nobody could be ok under these circumstances” ways of putting their problems that aren’t in line with reality.
The former is honest but puts you at emotional risk when you’re already vulnerable. The latter is inauthentic but does grant the solidarity and support they’re seeking in the first place. I can’t really blame the people who pick door #2, especially when this decision is conditioned over long periods of social media use. It’s also in line with catastrophization, a common distortion many of us experience already.
notably, this has always been a common problem with how PTSD is understood, specifically complex trauma. many people discount their own trauma because it’s not the typical “got my limb blown off” image of trauma and they’ll occasionally be attacked for claiming they are traumatized. So they find more extreme ways to put their trauma that do get them the support they’re seeking. (and need!)
I don’t know what the solution to any of this is but I do feel it comes from a real place and I put the blame more on social media than the individuals, despite how annoyed I can get with people when I see it.
I think you may want to look into what suffrage is. :B
Suffrage is one of those English language-internal false friends - you could easily confuse it with a personalised state of suffering, especially if English isn’t your first language (my bigger anxieties around this is finding out a word I used extensively has a different meaning than I thought)…
“Pahshaw! Don’t listen to Sally over there, she’s just having her woman time. When we get home, I’ll give her a good knock about and she’ll remember herself. Now, where’s my paint thinner? I have a frightful thirst.”