I used to get a lot of joy from creating poop every day… big poops! But then I started taking semiglutide (the drug in ozempic) Now I’m lucky if I poop some bunny rabbit pellets every 3 days. I have to take fiber and magnesium supplements, and stay hydrated to poop but I barely poop anymore. My ass is much cleaner than it was before taking this medication, and I don’t spend as much time in the bathroom as I did before. I have made a few large poops since starting this medication, and it feels like my bowels release everything that has been clogged up inside them (insert randy marsh pooping meme). But that’s less than once a month.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.