I’m sorry if this is insensitive or if this has been asked already, but I would like some feedback from the ASD community about this.

I’ve always been kind of socially awkward, I am generally uncomfortable with meeting new people outside of professional environments, and prolonged eye-contact, even with close friends, is weird for me. My older sister was the first to bring up the idea, after she had a kid who potentially had autism, that I might also be on the spectrum. And within the last few months my mom also brought it up that I might be on the spectrum. She never had me tested because I was born in '95 and, by her account, testing just wasn’t common except for more extreme cases.

But she suggested that I should get tested, and honestly I don’t know how I feel about it. It’s not that I’m worried about being on the spectrum but I feel like there’s no point in knowing because what would it change for me? I personally don’t see how knowing would benefit me; and even if I am on the spectrum, my ignorance of it doesn’t seem to be harming me. I worry that knowing for sure will just give me an excuse, and thus far I’ve done fine without knowing, I might even argue that not knowing (if I am on the spectrum) has just forced me to improve myself, develop my ability to empathize and be introspective, and enhance my social skills. To me, getting tested would just mean putting an unnecessary label on myself that doesn’t actually define me.

What are your opinions? Also, what is the testing procedure like? Would it even be accurate given that I’m almost 30 and have already had to learn through experience how to properly interact with people socially?

I appreciate whatever advice or anecdotes you can provide.

Edit: I also want to apologize if any of my terminology is offensive, I’m working off of the mainstream knowledge I have about ASD, so if it’s out of date it’s truly because of ignorance and not malice.

  • MoegleEnglish
    6•1 year ago

    If you’re fine as you are, then there may well be no point. Just make sure you actually are fine, rather than getting by at the expense of your own happiness/sense of belonging/burning out.

    For me, diagnosis was almost an act of desperation after 15+ years of depression and anxiety that no amount of medication or therapy seemed to help. I didn’t go through a self-identification journey or anything, it was suggested off-hand by a therapist who offered to write a referral. I forgot about it for several years, finally followed-up and got assessed and diagnosed in 2021. And to start with, knowing did nothing, but now that I’ve started exploring adjustments for autism it has made one hell of a difference. Which also means that if you do have struggles you may not need a formal diagnosis to work out how to alleviate them, though if it would qualify you for official support services or workplace accommodations it may be worth considering.

    I had my assessment aged 29. It was a multi-hour conversation with two assessors via videocall (would have been face-to-face, but pandemic). I had my mum with me to attest to my behaviour as a child, though she left the room for about half of the time. Part of it was casual conversation, part was more interview-style with questions for both me and my mum, then there were story-telling exercises based on different kinds of prompts. I was a lot more honest during the conversational parts than I usually am in social situations, precisely because they were there to assess my actual mental state, not the socially-polite front I put up.