I’m sorry if this is insensitive or if this has been asked already, but I would like some feedback from the ASD community about this.
I’ve always been kind of socially awkward, I am generally uncomfortable with meeting new people outside of professional environments, and prolonged eye-contact, even with close friends, is weird for me. My older sister was the first to bring up the idea, after she had a kid who potentially had autism, that I might also be on the spectrum. And within the last few months my mom also brought it up that I might be on the spectrum. She never had me tested because I was born in '95 and, by her account, testing just wasn’t common except for more extreme cases.
But she suggested that I should get tested, and honestly I don’t know how I feel about it. It’s not that I’m worried about being on the spectrum but I feel like there’s no point in knowing because what would it change for me? I personally don’t see how knowing would benefit me; and even if I am on the spectrum, my ignorance of it doesn’t seem to be harming me. I worry that knowing for sure will just give me an excuse, and thus far I’ve done fine without knowing, I might even argue that not knowing (if I am on the spectrum) has just forced me to improve myself, develop my ability to empathize and be introspective, and enhance my social skills. To me, getting tested would just mean putting an unnecessary label on myself that doesn’t actually define me.
What are your opinions? Also, what is the testing procedure like? Would it even be accurate given that I’m almost 30 and have already had to learn through experience how to properly interact with people socially?
I appreciate whatever advice or anecdotes you can provide.
Edit: I also want to apologize if any of my terminology is offensive, I’m working off of the mainstream knowledge I have about ASD, so if it’s out of date it’s truly because of ignorance and not malice.
If you think you’re going to need formal and legal accommodations in your workplace or career then it would be a good idea to get an official diagnosis. I had a late diagnosis at 38 myself.
I’m 35 and terrified to get started on the process. It helps me knowing you got your diagnosis around the same age I would be if I pull through now. This motivates me a lot and relieves some of my age-related anxiety, so thank you for posting!
The woman who runs my local autistic adults support service was diagnosed age 50. I’ve no idea of her age now, but she has remarked how freeing it was when she stopped masking that day. I think her “I’m old enough to no longer give a shit” energy kicked in early.
I wanna be like her ❤️
You’re welcome and I am happy that I could make you feel better.
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100% this. 27M, I don’t have autism, but I tested for mixed-ADHD at the end of last year. It was not at all aurprising, but having this diagnosis has opened me to a world of information I never would’ve explored before. I’m now on 30mg of Vyvanse daily. I have better infrastructure built for my life to support my forgetfulness, which has plagued me since grade school.
It’s all still a work-in-progress, but knowing these things can make you feel more comfortable in your own skin. It may feel like “an easy out” or “an excuse”, but that is a mental hurdle you can overcome, and you will be much happier when you do.
I think the majority of adults get tested are to A) work towards narrowing down therapies that work well did them, B) access funding from disability programs with the government. Do you have any desire to do either those things?
The question you need to ask yourself is, “what will be the benefit to me for being officially diagnosed as autistic / not autistic?”
For myself, I’m very much happy to just consider that I might be autistic and keeping this in mind helps me when I’m interacting with others. I personally don’t see the benefit of owning a piece of paper with “CERTIFIED AUTIST” written on it.
PS, you don’t need to apologise for potentially being offensive, your question is quite clearly in good faith and anyone that’s going to ignore that to pick the bones out using the wrong terminology or anything like that can fuck off
Full disclosure: I have not been officially tested by a doctor, myself, because depending upon your insurance, it can be pretty expensive. So money could certainly be one very valid reason to not get tested. On the other side of that, my wife and I did choose to have our kids tested, so that they can take advantage of options that such a diagnosis opens up within the public school system. You obviously aren’t looking towards that path, yourself, but that doesn’t mean it is entirely without value.
That said, I did take the online test, which is primarily targeted at an adult audience and which (unsurprisingly) showed very strong indicators that I’m also autistic. I would suggest starting there. The way I look at it, knowledge is a tool; you get to decide how (or if) to use that tool. And when the barrier to obtaining that knowledge is low, it’s worth the effort to step forward and see where that knowledge takes you.
The website with online tests is linked under helpful resources in the collection of links in the sidebar, but I’ll also go ahead and link directly to that website right here for your convenience: https://embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/
The ten question test is merely a subset of the fifty question test; if you’re at all distressed about the process, feel free to start at the short test. (I took both, and they both scored me extremely highly.)
aaaaaand I got 41 :))) on the test you mentioned.
Welcome to the fold. There are other resources worth exploring in the sidebar, if you haven’t already done so.
thanks mate :)
thanks mate :)
If you’re fine as you are, then there may well be no point. Just make sure you actually are fine, rather than getting by at the expense of your own happiness/sense of belonging/burning out.
For me, diagnosis was almost an act of desperation after 15+ years of depression and anxiety that no amount of medication or therapy seemed to help. I didn’t go through a self-identification journey or anything, it was suggested off-hand by a therapist who offered to write a referral. I forgot about it for several years, finally followed-up and got assessed and diagnosed in 2021. And to start with, knowing did nothing, but now that I’ve started exploring adjustments for autism it has made one hell of a difference. Which also means that if you do have struggles you may not need a formal diagnosis to work out how to alleviate them, though if it would qualify you for official support services or workplace accommodations it may be worth considering.
I had my assessment aged 29. It was a multi-hour conversation with two assessors via videocall (would have been face-to-face, but pandemic). I had my mum with me to attest to my behaviour as a child, though she left the room for about half of the time. Part of it was casual conversation, part was more interview-style with questions for both me and my mum, then there were story-telling exercises based on different kinds of prompts. I was a lot more honest during the conversational parts than I usually am in social situations, precisely because they were there to assess my actual mental state, not the socially-polite front I put up.
I’m 43 now. Had lots of issues my whole life. By mother was a teacher and had me tested for everything in middle school. Was diagnosed with a whole array of learning disabilities. Was granted accommodations for them all. Only actually needed a couple of them.
My best (really only) friend, suggested I work at the Anderson Center for Autism, where he was a teacher. It took a couple months for me to notice, I understood the kids more than I understood “normal” people. And suddenly my whole childhood made sense.
Separately, within a couple years, my mother and sister (case worker in a prison) told me they realised the same thing through their own jobs.
But at this point I have a stable career and life. An official diagnosis wouldn’t do anything for me. Though it may have been helpful in school.
