So since I started taking my meds many years ago my dreams became more vivid and I can remember them better and in more detail. Usually this is great but I watched Terrifier 3 last night and had one the most messed up scenes of a dream stuck in my head. Wtf brain?! Seriously, it involved a child and now I’m messed up because of my own fucking brain, not even a real thing.
Any of you had a similar experience?
I remember it as being my first dream ever, think I was around 1-2 years old when I had it, but everything’s very fuzzy timeline-wise up until I was around 5.
It was wholly abstract, I dreamt of myself as an amorphous mass of… something. I wasn’t panicked that I had no limbs or defined shape, and was fully aware of myself as said mass.
I was floating in a void, and a much, much larger mass of the same something of which I was made started drawing nearer and nearer to me, almost painfully slow.
I can’t begin to describe the sheer terror I felt when I realised I couldn’t retreat fast enough to not get caught. I was… moving my ass off away from the thing, and it seemed to just be strolling its way closer and closer - the fact that it seemed entirely relaxed in its pursuit somehow made the feeling of terror even worse.
Then, it finally caught up with me. The first thing which struck me was its size. To say it was towering over me is an understatement, the thing was incomprehensibly vast.
It was all over in a flash. The thing just… advanced “through” me, it simply assimilated me into its mass and I was gone. That was when I woke up. I still remember that terror, never felt anything close to it since.
I’m not saying it’s definitely a recovered memory from a past life as an amoeba, but if you did recover a memory from a past life as an amoeba it would probably be a lot like that
Honestly, being an amoeba isn’t all that bad of a past life, all things considered! Felt significantly less… biological than one would expect, but it’s as good an explanation as any, to be perfectly honest!
That’s a very interesting sounding dream. It seems often that dreams have components of our fears or daily life. Do you think that might have represented anything in particular?
Honestly, I don’t know! I’ve chewed on this pretty much ever since I had it, but I couldn’t put my finger on any particular occurrence.
The closest I can come to explaining it is that it was my subconscious’ way of assimilating my fear of my family? I had a… complicated childhood amongst some very specifically toxic personalities and always had the instinctive drive to not be like them, because it was shitty behaviour. I also feared them, because, like… I was a baby. They could literally crush me if they wanted to, and I knew it - none ever got THAT violent or crazy, just to be clear, but they were very on edge pretty much all of the time.
Maybe it was just the fear of getting caught up in that, of becoming that, but expressed abstractly, shapelessly because I didn’t have the conceptual or contextual tools with which to shape it yet. And this is also sustained by the fact that that… thing felt very familiar.
Or maybe I’m reaching and this is utter nonsense, I have no idea!
Aww…I’m sorry you had to go through that so young. Whether or not it has a connection to the dream, I hope you’re in a safer environment now.
Thank you so much! Yes, thankfully those days are far behind me and only the scars remain.
Whoever said “suffering builds character” was talking out of their ass - it doesn’t, but it does reveal the character that was always there.