Long story short, I’ve known that I was trans long before I had even heard the word. There were signs as early as 4 years old and I knew by the time I was 8. I’m in my late 30’s now and I had come to a kind of peace about not transitioning. It’s something that I want but because of life, family, and a lot of fear I decided not to.
Recently a very close friend who I’ve know for decades came out to me as a trans woman.
I want to tell her about myself but I’m worried about planting seeds of doubt about her transition because I’ve known I was trans for so long and yet haven’t started transitioning myself. I’m afraid that if I try and explain why that she might internalize my reasons. If that makes sense. I’ve never told anyone my truth and I’d so love to have someone to talk to about it. Especially since my friends transition is causing me to second guess myself.
I would appreciate some thoughts on whether I should tell my friend.
I carried the same weight until I came out at 32, and let me tell you, it’s heavier than you’ll ever realize until you put it down and start unpacking it. But the change in my life in just over a year has been literally unbelievable.
My heart goes out to you internet stranger. If you’re willing to share more, I’d love to hear how your life had changed for the better.
It’s hard to quantify in some ways, but the biggest thing is I can stand to be me now. I’m in therapy to help deal with all the emotions that come with finally not repressing everything, and boy is that hard to deal with sometimes, but I actively want to deal with it.
So as cheesy as it is, transitioning has actually given me hope for the future.
Different stranger here: I actually started to like myself and enjoy living, things everyone takes for granted. I couldn’t have imagined this much happiness was even possible, but it’s my normal now! Now I smile, laugh, talk to people, and feel like an actual person! It’s amazing how much improved now that I’ve been reducing that constant itch of wrongness!