I’ve been back and forth with this just because of my habit to use “oh man”, or “oh dude” in the past. I’ve done pretty well with changing the terminology just to keep to the discussion at hand and being respectful for anyone I’m talking to (just feels like basic public respect, like back in the day they would say “Dear Reader,” not really a PC problem to me).

So anyways, I found myself typing “oh boy” the other day and I paused to wonder about it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it brought up in discussions like man or dude. I never even thought of that phrase as it signifying the recipient is a “boy”. The more I think on it I don’t even know what the actual meaning is besides the way in which it is used (like, “shit” or “you wouldn’t believe”).

tldr: Is “oh boy” an acceptable gender-neutral response loop hole so I can be lazier when typing or has this been discussed a lot and I’ve just missed out on it?

I would love to hear the perspectives of everyone and encourage you to voice your opinion (just message if you don’t want other’s chiming in if you prefer)

  • @jpreston2005
    14•1 month ago

    When I was working as a line cook in college, I was one of two white guys behind the line, with the rest of our BOH (Back Of House) crew being black. One day on the line we were all joking around like we always did. One of the black cooks, named Rose (he was an older guy, with coke-bottle glasses and strong, thickly calloused hands. He had a snaggle tooth and a big ol’ pot belly), was regaling us with stories about how he has a veritable harem of women at his beck and call. He told us he was supporting like 5 different women, and all of them were entirely devoted to him.

    I thought that he was being hyperbolic, and decided that I would poke fun. I was going to say something like “Rose, I can’t believe for a second that even 1 woman would be after your ugly mug.” But my midwestern-whiteness shone through, and before I could deliver that absolute blister of a line, I decided to use an exclamation so as to punctuate my lack of belief in his statement. I started with “Ooh boy,” and didn’t get to finish.

    I was immediately accosted by Rose, his spatula gripped tightly, and he was mad as hell. The other line cooks were instantly aware of the situation and reacted to hold him back, as Rose was about to knock my befuddled ass into next week. Eventually they were able to calm him down, and explained to my dumbass that calling a black man “boy” was explicitly racist, and derogatory.

    We were fine once he realized I had no idea it was racist, I just thought of it as an exclamation along the lines of “Boy howdy!” or something.

    It was a very eye-opening moment.

    • @[email protected]
      11•1 month ago

      That’s actually why Mr T adopted his moniker.

      I think about my father being called “boy”, my uncle being called “boy”, my brother, coming back from Vietnam and being called “boy”. So I questioned myself: “What does a black man have to do before he’s given respect as a man?” So when I was 18 years old, when I was old enough to fight and die for my country, old enough to drink, old enough to vote, I said I was old enough to be called a man. I self-ordained myself Mr. T, so the first word out of everybody’s mouth is “Mr.”

    • @[email protected]
      7•1 month ago

      Hmm, as a non-American, I didn’t know the potentially racist connotation either until I read your post. I’m assuming that it could be interpreted as infantalising black men… But anyway I’m curious about the historical context.