My (25F) boyfriend (28M) and I have been together for about 6 months, and things have been great overall. Recently, though, when he gets upset, he says things that seem intended to hurt me. It feels like he intentionally picks at things he thinks will get under my skin.

I’ve started to feel anxious about when the next comment will come, and it’s affecting me emotionally. I’m not sure how to address this with him.

  • @elbucho
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    441 month ago

    Speaking as someone about twice your age, one of the most precious skills I’ve developed over the years is setting and sticking to boundaries. Being insulted or belittled by someone who wants to consider themselves my partner is a major boundary violation for me. This is the type of thing that I don’t give second chances for.

    Being hurt by the person you love is something that will happen on occasion. The important thing is intention. If someone I love hurts me because they were careless or in the moment, didn’t think their actions through, that’s conversation time. If that person hurts me because they are angry at me and have a desire to inflict pain, that’s an ending of the relationship.

    You deserve to be loved by someone who will not see you as a punching bag. Someone who will lift you up, not tear you down. Your boyfriend deserves to be single until he fully deals with his anger issues.