The satirical news site planned to turn Infowars into a parody of itself, mocking “weird internet personalities” who peddle conspiracy theories and health supplements.
I don’t know that they can be broken out at this point. We’ve reached near-Heaven’s Gate levels. They just haven’t all drank the poison at the orders of Dear Leader yet.
Ladies and gentlemen, great patriots all across this occupied country of the former United States of America- it’s time now for us to take the fight to the devil directly.
Last night, I woke up and God told me it was 4 a.m. I was literally told, “Go look at the clock. It’s 4a.m. Get up, and go look at your phone.”
Four AM! I’m like, This is really God! and God goes “Yeah. And I told you 45 seconds ago, now 15 countdown!”
And by the time I was like, bluhbluhbluhbluh okay it’s been about 3 so 12, 11, 10, 9… and this happened! On my children! And right at zero, bloop! Four-oh-one! And I’m sitting there while I’m looking at the phone, pissing, at 4:01 going My God! Literally directly communicating with me in space live time!
And then he told me to sell to all the patriots the Final Supplement! And it will give us the power to fight the Devil because we’re gonna win! So go over to drjonesnaturals.scam and buy all of them! Give them to your wife! Your daughter. Your dog- you don’t want to leave Fido here with the Satanic Globalists, do you? They’ll be on sale for the rest of the month.
-Something Alex Jones may or may not have said mixed with something Alex Jones may or may not say in the future.
I don’t know that they can be broken out at this point. We’ve reached near-Heaven’s Gate levels. They just haven’t all drank the poison at the orders of Dear Leader yet.
-Something Alex Jones may or may not have said mixed with something Alex Jones may or may not say in the future.