• @Paranoidfactoid
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    2 hours ago

    Guess InfoWars will begin publishing more factual articles, then.

  • 3 dogs in a trenchcoat
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    318 minutes ago

    They should run actual left wing articles but write them to sound like right wing conspiracies. Like, politicians say raising trans kids is child abuse? THE GOVERNMENT WANTS TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU’RE ALLOWED TO CALL YOUR OWN KIDS!!

  • Wren the Malamute
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    31 hour ago

    The Onion out here reminding me that there are still good people in this world (outside of my boyfriends, family and friends)

  • @Mango
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    43 hours ago

    I need an explanation of Infowars. I’m guessing it’s something that really needs made fun of.

    • Decoy321
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      53 hours ago

      It absolutely is. It’s basically a ragebait propaganda machine.

      Well, it was.

    • @Mango
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      43 hours ago

      What’s the desk?

    • FauxPseudo
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      145 minutes ago

      I need to know that Dan and Jordan will get access to the desk.

  • @Passerby6497
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    186 hours ago

    Goddamn, I was sure I ate the onion on this one.

    This is probably the best possible outcome.

  • @danc4498
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    1018 hours ago

    As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWarswarehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal.

  • JoYo
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    408 hours ago

    Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.

  • @DandomRude
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    8 hours ago

    I hope they didn’t pay more than a sack of onions.

    • @[email protected]
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      308 hours ago

      I hope it’s a lot. The money here is going to the families of Sandy Hook victims. There isn’t nearly enough to cover the full court ordered payout, but it’s essentially a donation to them with extra steps.

      • @DandomRude
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        7 hours ago

        I know, but why should someone other than Jones pay up? He has obviously put aside a lot of money that is due to those affected - he will make even more in the next trump turn. If he gets away with that and shows that it’s worthwhile to run a business as immoral as his, others will do exactly the same.

        Edit: nvm, I forgot that Trump still owes the state of New York half a billion dollars for massive financial fraud that he will never pay because the US citizens elected him the next president. Well, too bad the US legal system doesn’t prosecute anyone personally - especially not with criminal charges. Sorry, I always wrongly assume that the US has a semi-functioning legal system. My bad.

    • @nutsack
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      17 hours ago

      i would give each of them 1 billion dollars

  • @Viking_Hippie
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    428 hours ago

    The Onion’s parent company, Global Tetrahedron

    Eee! They named the parent company after the evil corporation parent company in The Onion Movie! That makes me unreasonably happy! 😂🥰

  • @khannie
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    17711 hours ago

    I initially thought this was going to be an onion article, but here we are. Class.

  • Flying SquidM
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    19311 hours ago

    I was hoping for Cards Against Humanity to do it, but this is just as good.