Satirical news outlet purchases media platform run by Alex Jones at a court-ordered auction

Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

🤣

  • @tpyoEnglish
    1•2 hours ago

    A part of me actually wished that the Onion would have purchased InfoWars, but in secret, like maybe under a subsidiary corp that has a right-wing sounding name.

    "Today we celebrate a new addition to the Global Tetrahedron LLC family of brands. "

    don’t change Infowars’ branding

    "Founded in 1999 … InfoWars has distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses.

    …

    InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.

    No price would be too high for such a cornucopia of malleable assets and minds. … a steep bargain: less than one trillion dollars."

    I’m absolutely not disagreeing with you; I believe the onion will continue on doing “its thing” and keeping on-brand for both entities. Do exactly what you say and publish articles either believable or outlandish enough to break through to people