Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/
And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.
🤣
Counterpoint, it was already stupid.
Yes, but this time it will be on purpose.
Is it The Onion? Or Not the Onion?
Yes
Fucking awesome. Onion has been hitting it hard lately, and this is just the cherry on top. I am hopeful this makes some chuds question their minds.
They should harness the crazy for good. Make conspiracy theory-sounding stories, but make them factual and get people to take positive action.
“They created chemicals you can inject into the bloodstream that keeps them from getting the Measels.”
“The overlords in their golden towers want to tell you who you are and aren’t allowed to love.”
This is brilliant. Please send them an email with this idea.
The vaccine one would probably be better as: “independent thinking researchers developed a means of using your own body’s immune response to prevent diseases with a mere injection. Some of them even refused to patent it. But then the media started lying to you about them, trying to get you to stop accepting these miracles? Why, just so some companies could make more money selling you proprietary snake oil to keep you comfortable while you’re sick.”
Big Essential Oil ruining the day again.
I’m totally for this and I bet it would work, too. We’ve seen the level of ignorance that went into how people chose to vote. If OnionWars puts up those kinds of stories, along with the occasional article declaring Jones actually still owns InfoWarts and any news stating otherwise is fake, they could ease these nutjobs back to sanity.
I would love this.
Wait, what? Which parts of this are satire now? I read the Onion piece that Global Tetrahedron was purchasing InfoWars, but this is a Guardian story saying The Onion is purchasing it? I’m a bit confused.
It’s not satire, they are purchasing it for real.
It’s on APNews too - it’s real
The funniest piece is going to be seeing old followers believe it’s still the InfoWars they know and love. It took forever for people to stop eating the onion in large numbers, and it still manages to happen on occasion.
There is opportunity here. Initially, anyway.
A part of me actually wished that the Onion would have purchased InfoWars, but in secret, like maybe under a subsidiary corp that has a right-wing sounding name.
They don’t change Infowars’ branding or anything but the articles become subtly liberal.
Maybe an overt purchase is better but I really want to troll the right.
“Do your swastikas send the right message to your neighbors? Maybe try this instead…”
I don’t think they have to. People are going to consume it like it’s the same old. Inertia and assumption.
I think there’s always going to be that group of people. Another example: folks that didn’t notice that The Colbert Report was satire.
I thought Glenn Beck was satire. Watched it several times and then one day … wait, that’s not a joke?
Beck sounds batshit. Right there with you.
YESS!
Looks like it’s been down since January. Do you think people are still trying it?
I still have OSINT on my podcast roll even though Bazzell quit. Maybe it’ll come back? I’m sure others have done the same.
My favorite part of this:
…Collins said that “part of the reason we did bought InfoWars is because people on Bluesky told us it would be funny to buy InfoWars” adding that “those people were right” this “is the funniest thing that has ever happened”.
That also sounds like the kind of prank that Cards Against Humanity would pull if they had access to as much cash. I love this so much.
They should send Alex Jones a $1 “royalty” check every month - just so that he doesn’t forget it.
Make it $0.01. No need to waste too much money.
Nah. They should just make sure the checks bounce.
“Tim onion” got an irl lol out of me
ben also replied saying he’d hold it for knowledge fight, so there’s an incredible chance we might see knowledge fight use it at some point.
For me, the cherry on top is how the “InfoWars” name is still completely apt, for completely different reasons.
I gotta find out what the Knowledge Fight folks have to say about this.
I am waiting for the next episode to drop. Biggest episode ever.
Reformatting InfoWars as a serious, unironic branch of the Onion that deals with misinformation would just be great.
Where is Alex Jones on now?
Hasn’t Trump appointed him head of media relations, or something equally as stupid?
If Alex Jones becomes press secretary, I’ll be convinced that this is all a simulation.
I would love that. The only person on earth less coherent than Trump. Imagine the memes we would get out of that.
im sorry but the owner’s name is tim onion. please publish a correction.
This is what I call a master class on starting a soft revolution: you take over a symbol of the opposite ideology, in the most outrageous and ridiculous way, make it known to all, and completely subvert it and deconstruct it, piece by piece, until it stops making any sense to its former self.
Like the right keeps doing with memes!
and words too. Even words get to mean exactly their antonyms :/
like this?
And CNN
Memes come and go too fast for that.
Oh my god what a power move. More power to them, seriously. Best outcome we could have gotten
Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.
Next week’s headlines “Alex Jones appointed as Secretary of State” or some other wackass shit.
Press secretary would be perfect.
