My husband of 17 years is a judge. Recently multiple people have come out publicly with their stories about my husband because all the complaints they have filed with the Council which deals with this have been ignored throughout the years - no investigation opened. My husband has always kept me in the dark about his work - finances, so let’s just say I have my reasons to believe the allegations. The most horrific one I’ve heard is my husband ruled that a 12-year-old consented to having sex with an adult (legal age of consent at the time was 15 in our country), so there was no conviction. The accused in this trial was wealthy. I didn’t know about this until now. Frankly I’m completely disgusted with him.
Yes, that was always his justification for why he doesn’t talk with me about finances. I bring in more than enough, aren’t you satisfied, why would you need to know about technicalities? That kind of thing. And before you ask me why have I put up with it: I was raised in a traditional family where when the man spoke the woman shut up, so I guess I took a lot of these behaviors from my mother; and my family has always had a big influence on my life and they stood by my husband.
“Our tradition is subjugation!”
Gotcha. I was prepared to make an allowance that maybe he just wasn’t interested in the finances and therefore didn’t want to talk about them. But it sounds like you’ve asked him about them point-blank and he’s refusing to discuss.
We often make allowances for our upbringing, but these are huge red flags. Honestly, if my partner was hiding their finances, then I’d be worried about what else they were hiding.
It sounds like you’ve got turbulent times ahead. I wish you the strength to move forward.
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