That’s a good question. I think most of the traits described here also apply to women, but as always, we’re talking about overlapping Bell curves here. I think men derive their sense of self worth from things like strength, leadership and independence more so than women do on average. There’s also traditionally feminine traits men derive self worth from, like empathy, affection and devotion. The same is probably true for women; little of column A, little of column B.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, this is just how genders shake out on average, so the implication that a man shouldn’t like feeling like one kind of bothers me.
I totally agree with your final thesis, it bothers me a lot too.
However, there’s some nits I could pick with your construct of what drives men’s (or women’s) sense of self-worth as being part of the “bell curve”. Meaning, that feeling of self-worth is itself derived from the culture they grow up in (read: imposed) and not some inherent trait that has been statistically examined and can be plotted on a bell curve (read: implicit).
I’d assert that the bell curves overlap 1 for 1 and that all “traits” being discussed are traits of a good person without respect to gender. Note: I’m not talking about physical traits, I’m just talking about traits of the mind and action. Emotional strength, women can and do have that. Strength of character, courage, leadership, independence, compassion, empathy, protectiveness, selflessness, charity, etc, these are all traits both genders can and ideally should objectively possess regardless if they’ve grown up being told otherwise. Even how those traits are made manifest are influenced by the society around them.
You didn’t say it, but “Taking care of family” is the most laughable one I think I ever hear. Like, seriously? Women don’t take care of their family? Aren’t protective of their family? The only aspect of those that has any whiff of validity of being “masculine” is when it’s associated with physical strength. But as a “trait”, men have nothing on women for the societal expectations, and possibly the genetic “urge”, to take care of their family. So I always just get a chuckle when someone lists taking care of family as something that defines being a man.
That’s a good question. I think most of the traits described here also apply to women, but as always, we’re talking about overlapping Bell curves here. I think men derive their sense of self worth from things like strength, leadership and independence more so than women do on average. There’s also traditionally feminine traits men derive self worth from, like empathy, affection and devotion. The same is probably true for women; little of column A, little of column B.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, this is just how genders shake out on average, so the implication that a man shouldn’t like feeling like one kind of bothers me.
Not who your responding too …
I totally agree with your final thesis, it bothers me a lot too.
However, there’s some nits I could pick with your construct of what drives men’s (or women’s) sense of self-worth as being part of the “bell curve”. Meaning, that feeling of self-worth is itself derived from the culture they grow up in (read: imposed) and not some inherent trait that has been statistically examined and can be plotted on a bell curve (read: implicit).
I’d assert that the bell curves overlap 1 for 1 and that all “traits” being discussed are traits of a good person without respect to gender. Note: I’m not talking about physical traits, I’m just talking about traits of the mind and action. Emotional strength, women can and do have that. Strength of character, courage, leadership, independence, compassion, empathy, protectiveness, selflessness, charity, etc, these are all traits both genders can and ideally should objectively possess regardless if they’ve grown up being told otherwise. Even how those traits are made manifest are influenced by the society around them.
You didn’t say it, but “Taking care of family” is the most laughable one I think I ever hear. Like, seriously? Women don’t take care of their family? Aren’t protective of their family? The only aspect of those that has any whiff of validity of being “masculine” is when it’s associated with physical strength. But as a “trait”, men have nothing on women for the societal expectations, and possibly the genetic “urge”, to take care of their family. So I always just get a chuckle when someone lists taking care of family as something that defines being a man.