Every holiday, at whichever house is hosting, there is nothing but a laundry list of DIY tasks and shit that my family just expects help with. I get it, helping family and all that, but I really don’t want to buy a plane ticket/driving across the midwest into a different state, use my limited PTO, then what time I have installing lights, a toilet, a storm door, a TV mount, and god knows what else instead of watching movies, sports, reading books, relaxing, boardgames, etc.

There is never a thank you, never respect that my time is going into somebody else’s project, not attempt to learn to do it themselves, nothing. Just another errand to run or project to install. It would be one thing if my family members weren’t able-bodied or the projects couldn’t be done safely solo, but that is not the case. The thank you, if there is one is when I am leaving. My time doesn’t feel appreciated, my talents or skills are expected and not respected, and when I’m annoyed by a situation I’m the problem.

There are a million reasons I should be thankful for a family that cares and gets together over the holidays, but I am so incredibly over not being appreciated or respected that I am just angry and bitter instead.

  • Diplomjodler
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    English
    135 days ago

    Sounds like you’re a bit of a doormat, OP. Just say no. You need your PTO for recreation, not for more work. And if people are trying to guilt trip you, just (politely) tell them to pound sand.