Summary
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy suggested a ceasefire could be possible if Ukraine’s NATO membership is offered for areas under Kyiv’s control, with occupied regions negotiated diplomatically later.
This marks the first time Zelenskyy has hinted at a deal leaving some Russian-occupied territory temporarily under Moscow’s control.
He emphasized NATO membership as essential to prevent further Russian aggression.
Zelenskyy also expressed readiness to work with Donald Trump, despite reports that Trump’s plans may involve Ukraine ceding occupied land.
Roughly 20% of Ukraine remains under Russian control.
What are you proposing?
Not me, Zelensky.
Something akin to my marriage.
A grueling daily standoff, mired with silent and tense interactions in the hallway, like ships passing in the night? A lonely, cold existence punctuated by depression medication dampened flaccid shower masturbation? A dreary, lifeless union blessed by a loud shop vac in the basement, so the kids can’t hear you crying? You can’t recall the last time you wore a seatbelt or drove sober, because she’s always smiling at her damn phone, and always leaves the room to answer a call. You paid for the fucking thing, and her passcode isn’t even the same as it used to be. Nothing is anymore. Maybe today’s the day someone won’t stop at a red light, or maybe you’ll finally try to grab a cop’s gun. But you won’t. The drudgery shambles on.
Jesus christ. Uh, are you OK buddy?
I’m fine, thanks for the concern. My previous comment was inspired by the song Shop Vac by Jonathan Coulton, I’ve never been married. I figure I’d have to sell off my sex dolls first, but they were stupid expensive, and you’d surprised how quickly they lose value when you take them out of the box. I figure they’re a bird in hand in either case.
Sheer poetry.
I think I’m going for that gun next time.