But seriously, having a sense of taste for the interior of one’s home does not make a person gay— it means you’re an adult with good taste. It does, however, run the risk of classifying you as “fabulous.”

“I’ve had loads of gay experiences. I’ve seen a pair of shoes and said, I have to have them! I’ve described a cake as ‘to die for’. But I’ve never had the gay experience of having another man’s cock in my mouth and/or bum. And I think that really is the one that counts.”

- Jimmy Carr (as close as I can remember it)