I’ve been waiting until after Christmas day to make this post, but some of our communities recently have had a lot of noise and upset over someone that uses neopronouns that most people are unfamiliar with.
So I want to make this clear. A persons pronouns are to be respected. This is true when the user is using neopronouns that you’re unfamiliar with. It’s true even if you think someone is trolling. Pronouns are not rewards for good behaviour. They aren’t only to be respected when you like the person you’re interacting with, or if their pronouns “make sense” to you. Trolls, spammers, twitter users, it doesn’t matter who they are, your options are to respect their pronouns, or to not engage with them.
I really want to re-iterate the importance of this. Gender diverse folk are undermined, invalidated and questioned at every step of our lives. As a community, we need to be working to undo that, not creating more of it, and that means there is no space for treating pronouns (including neopronouns) as a reward for good behaviour.
This isn’t a free reign for trolls and spammers. The rules still apply. Trolling, spamming, etc will continue to be dealt with, but it’s not an excuse to act as if respecting someones pronouns is optional.
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In most settings I would be inclined to agree, but in specific settings, like the community this was originally posted in, acceptance and comfort is the point.
You may have seen this from World, but it was posted on blahaj.
In this particular instance, it seems less like you were approached on the street and told to speak differently, and more like some people were having a meeting and you walked in and told them to stop making a scene.
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If xey really want a closed meeting, there’s an option to make a community local only.
Some of us are likely to wander into some other blahaj posts like we wandered into this one so it’s good to know.
Excellent analogy at the end there.
Maybe reading the room isn’t your strong suit. This post is a position statement by an instance admin on its meta community, not a request for soapboxing from other instances’ users.
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Here’s a neat trick: if you don’t want to engage with someone, just block that person. It costs 0€ and the rest of us don’t have to endure a days-long quarrel.
One of the smaller benefits of these sorts of announcements is that they bring out people that just aren’t worth knowing from other instances who all but shout “I’m a piece of shit idiot!! Block me!!”. And that really helps save time.
That’s what I do. I’ve got absolutely nothing against probably most of the people I’ve blocked. Just at a certain point if I see the same account over and over posting stuff I don’t really vibe with I’ll block them and just let the ones that do enjoy that stuff have at it.
Side note: I especially love the ones that will like rage comment in places like YT/TikTok on “woke” stuff for example then cry that the algorithm keeps showing them more like it. Like… My Brother in Christ, you made the sandwich.
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You know what’s even worse for connecting with society? Actively discrediting other peoples existence within the queer community.
This is the exact same bullshit as “LGB drop the T” except it’s one step down. Neopronoun users hurt the whole queer community as much as trans people in general: they don’t, they’re a part of it.
I respect all people pronouns, but real quick here’s a list of people’s pronouns I don’t respect -op
careful hehe ‘op’ in the context would be understood by most to mean the OP of the post, aka Ada. i caught what you mean before i took any action but that probably explains a good chunk of the downvotes ur getting :)
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oops misread your comment.
sounds like you just don’t respect people unless it’s convenient for you.
(that’s not really respect)
You cannot claim to respect someone if you can’t recognise the simple reality of their gender and it’s expression. Assuming people using neopronouns are making it the centre of attention is just you being transphobic and a dick, be better.
You’re admitting that you prefer being transphobic over putting in the minimum amount of effort
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I don’t wanna because “it’s a pain”. Yep, you’re not an ally, you’re just being transphobic because that’s easier for you.
Being an ally takes effort. We have to unlearn these things in order to make the world better, if the rest of us can do it then so can you. You have been programmed by a patriarchal society to resist change for a reason.