I want to meet the woman inside the control panel of the brain of grey shirt girl. I don’t want to meet the grey shirt girl. I want to meet the girl inside the brain control room.

I see on dating apps these women that are like “I like to go traveling! I like to go white water rafting. I like to go camping!”

You know what’s waaaaaay hotter?

“I want to do absolutely nothing. Just stay on the couch, we’ll say we’re going to watch a movie, but really we’ll just stare at an endless list of netflix movies. Never picking one, and just goofing off on the couch for hours. And the only thing that’s important enough to leave the couch for are bathroom breaks, and answering the door when the local nonźchain pizzeria delivers. Beyond that? This couch is now home for the night. No bullshit clubs where you can’t hear each other anyways. Where the vibrations of the music rattles your bones. Just a couch, a locally sourced pizza, and you”

If I saw a tinder listing like THAT??? HARD LIKE! SUPER LIKE! Whatever the fuck it’s called.