EUGENE, OR—Arriving back at work after a two-week winter vacation, local marketing assistant Matthew Bueso told reporters Monday he was happy to return to the office with a fresh and rejuvenated loathing for his job. “It’s always nice to get away for a few weeks, clear my head, and come back invigorated with a newfound disgust for my place of employment and the various responsibilities of my thoroughly depressing job,” said Bueso, 38, noting that his time away had inspired him to complete mind-numbing administrative tasks, engage in idle discussions with his aggravating coworkers, and listen to bullshit inspirational speeches from his boss with a rekindled sense of anger and despair. “I’m rested, my batteries are recharged, and I’m ready to despise my entire professional life more intensely than ever before!” At press time, a revitalized Bueso was furiously balling his fists at the sound of a nearby coworker’s loud typing.
  • @grueEnglish
    15•5 days ago

    It wasn’t in the headline, but the satirical part of the article was the notion that he had (at least) two weeks’ worth of PTO and was allowed to use it all at once.

      • Drusas
        3•4 days ago

        This is a very privileged comment.

        Anyone working a “low skill” job like retail, or really most service jobs, in the US is unlikely to receive that much time off, let alone be approved to use it all at once. At an office job, you might start off at a company with 10 days/year, or have “unlimited” PTO–which is more of a trap than a benefit.

        Also, it’s bullshit that everyone calls 10 days a year “two weeks”. Yeah, I get it–they’re including weekends, but you have those off anyway. Two weeks is 14 days, not 10.